<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Too Long by MiaGhost</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319487">Too Long</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaGhost/pseuds/MiaGhost'>MiaGhost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Best Friends, Bev is a Goddess and we love her, Bev is a hugger, Bev sees all, Beverley Marsh Works It Out, Coming Out, Crushes, Eddie goes away to Camp, Eddie makes new friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, I hope you guys like them!, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired by Music, Internalized Homophobia, It's Christian Camp, Jumping Timeline - Minor Hops, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Richie misses him, SO MUCH FLUFF, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Soft Richie Tozier, Stan has known for years, Swearing, The Chordettes, The Losers Club Are Good Friends (IT), The Losers Club Love Each Other (IT), The Losers Like Physical Contact, so fucking much, so much love and support, these guys are so cute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23319487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaGhost/pseuds/MiaGhost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you tell me, right now," she spoke slowly, every word clear with intent, "that I'm wrong, I'll believe you."</p><p>Richie drew in a breath, but it caught in his throat as he continued to look at her, the lie sitting heavy and hard like a rock in his throat. It wouldn't go away when he swallowed.</p><p>"But if you tell me," her voice dropped lower, soft and secretive, as though his parents might hear, as though Derry might hear, "that I'm right, I will tell you how much I love you, and how little I care."</p><p> </p><p>Or</p><p> </p><p>Eddie goes to camp and Bev catches Richie listening to a certain song by the Chordettes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beverly Marsh &amp; Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak &amp; Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Please Eddie, don't make me wait too long.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You left me last September,</em>
</p><p>"Your mom let me in-"</p><p>Richie jerked so hard in his chair that he nearly tumbled to the floor, one hand grabbing his chest as he gasped and stared at the redhead who'd burst into his room.</p><p>"Jeesus, Marsh! How many times have you caught the others jackin' it, opening doors like that?"</p><p>Bev rolled her eyes, gaze straying to the little radio that was playing on the desk. She raised an eyebrow when she was met with a white-faced Richie, and her lips curled wickedly.</p><p>"Is that- Are you listening to <em>The Chordettes</em>, Mr Tozier?"</p><p>"Shut up." he answered, reaching over to turn it off, but Bev got there first, grabbing hold of his wrist as her head tipped to one side. Richie swallowed, heart dropping to the bottom of his gut as he watched it dawn in her eyes just which song she was hearing.</p><p>
  <em>Now all I do is wish and wait for you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, since you've been gone.</em>
</p><p>Beverly met his eye, her mouth working then closing again as the song played on, and it was with a horrible, awful fear that Richie watched her brain work behind her eyes. So bright and green as the sea, they bore into his head as though she was viewing his soul, splayed open before her.</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, my love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm sinking fast</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The very next day,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>might be my last.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please Eddie,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>don't make me wait too long.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh Eddie, Eddie, I love you so.</em>
</p><p>"Bev…" his voice cracked.</p><p><em>Eddie, my love</em>.</p><p>"Marsh, please..."</p><p>
  <em>Oh Eddie, my love, I love you so…</em>
</p><p>The song faded away, the lingering chord replaced by the bright voice of the radio presenter, but Bev still didn't let go of his wrist. Richie felt the fear clawing up his throat, and he knew if she didn't stop looking at him like that, he was gonna hurl all over her shoes.</p><p>"Bev, I… Please. It's not…"</p><p>She blinked at him, before the suspicion and realisation on her face softened, and she tugged him hard from his chair, catching his weight when his legs went weak, and hugged him so hard he struggled to breathe.</p><p>"God, how did I not see it- I can't believe-"</p><p>Richie shook his head frantically, face buried in her hair, voice fumbling and pitching.</p><p>"No! It- it isn't- Bev please, it's not, I'm not."</p><p>She drew away suddenly, looking fiercely up into his red, desperate face, and let out a long breath. He met her eye even though every nerve in his body felt like it was trembling, even though he knew it was harder to lie with her looking at him like that.</p><p>"If you tell me, right now," she spoke slowly, every word clear with intent, "that I'm wrong, I'll believe you."</p><p>Richie drew in a breath, but it caught in his throat as he continued to look at her, the lie sitting heavy and hard like a rock in his throat. It wouldn't go away when he swallowed.</p><p>"But if you tell me," her voice dropped lower, soft and secretive, as though his parents might hear, as though <em>Derry</em> might hear, "that I'm <em>right</em>, I will tell you how much I love you, and how little I care."</p><p>Richie's face burned hot suddenly, and he was aghast to find his vision watering. Beverly continued to meet his eye, even though she must see the truth on his face, even though she <em>had</em> to see the tears that were ready to spill over.</p><p>He wanted so badly to lie. To tell her he just left the song on because it was funny, or because he missed his friend. They all missed him, didn't they? It didn't mean Richie had to love him <em>that</em> way, not any differently from how he loved the others, not any differently from how they all loved him, or Eddie.</p><p>But he'd had this shame in his heart for so long, and Beverly looked so determined, so sure and reliable and familiar and <em>safe</em>, that it slipped out of his mouth in a pitiful mumble.</p><p>"You're not wrong."</p><p>Her expression lit with delight as she hugged him again, even harder than last time as though that were possible, and she peppered kisses across the material of his shirt, at his shoulder where his heart lay.</p><p>"I love you, Richard Tozier, more than life itself." she said, stern and firm, and making him chuckle wetly as his tears finally fell.</p><p>"I know." he said, sniffing hard and gross and squeezing her back as though it could convey everything he needed to say to her.</p><p>"And I don't give two shits who you love," she punctuated every syllable with the solid thump of one fist on his back, "not even one shit, do you hear me?"</p><p>Richie dissolved into hiccuped sobbing as she held him, the growing dam of fear he'd been battling alone for so long finally bursting, flooding down his chest and legs, sinking into the floor from the soles of his feet. Bev held him through it, and when he was finally able to scrub his eyes dry and pull away, awkward and embarrassed and faintly ashamed, she placed a hand on either side of his face and kissed his nose.</p><p>"I love you, Bev." he croaked.</p><p>She smiled prettily.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>~.~</p><p>"How long have you kept that to yourself?" she whispered, hours later, lying on the floor of the Clubhouse and staring at the sky above the hatch.</p><p>"Too long." he answered, tipping his head further into her hand as she drew his curls between her fingers.</p><p>She hummed, waiting for him to elaborate, and he flushed red. It was automatic, to deflect. He wasn't used to talking openly about how he felt, he'd never been any good at it, and he'd always worried people would bully him for it, or worse, that it would tip them off.</p><p>"Which part?" he asked, a long time later, staring at the beam directly above his face.</p><p>Bev's fingers paused.</p><p>"Whichever part you wanna tell me about."</p><p>Richie sighed, feeling weary right to his bones.</p><p>"I guess there aren't really separate parts." he admitted, flushing further red.</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>Her question was gentle, a delicate nudge. She was as interested in making him feel okay to speak as she was in what he said, maybe more so. The feeling of security rose in his gut and he turned his face, even at the awkward angle where his head lay on her midriff, to look at her face.</p><p>"I never tell you how much I love you, Marsh." he said, and her chuckle made his head shake.</p><p>"I know it, anyway." she answered, tracing his cheek with her fingers, "We all do."</p><p>Richie grinned warmly and turned back to the ceiling, thinking that maybe it wasn't so awful to talk about feelings. At least with Bev. She wasn't taunting him, or making it into a joke, like she knew it was hard enough for him to open up. He supposed he didn't give his friends enough credit, and felt guilty about keeping secrets, even if they were dark, looming, horrible ones.</p><p>He still couldn't quite believe that Bev didn't think he was disgusting.</p><p>"He's the reason I worked it out." he admitted eventually, closing his eyes as the anxious fear expanded in his chest.</p><p>He had to get the words out, he owed her them, and he wanted her to have them.</p><p>"I… worked out why I like… you know. Pushing his buttons more than anyone else's."</p><p>Bev smirked, snorting softly.</p><p>"You mean you don't just do it 'cause you're bored?"</p><p>He bit down his grin.</p><p>"Okay, sometimes. But it's… I realised why I like it so much. I like when he's only giving his attention to me."</p><p>"Even if he's screaming about bacteria?" Bev chuckled, and Richie groaned through his own grin, shoving at her weakly.</p><p>"Shut <em>up</em>. I'm trying to bare my soul here."</p><p>Beverly only laughed more, and Richie rolled off of her, to lie on his front and hang over her face, watching the amusement dance over her skin as her eyes flashed. It had never been awkward, being this close to Bev. Not the way it was with other girls. He was close enough to kiss her, if either of them wanted to, which he definitely didn't and was more than sure she didn't either. At least not romantically.</p><p>But it had never been awkward, never uncomfortable, never… <em>weird</em>. This thing that they had, all of them, this bond that had stretched and snapped into place like a rubber band so long ago when they fought and killed a monster, it was something real and special. Bev looked up at him and smiled like she could hear his thoughts, and Richie rested his chin atop her heart.</p><p>"You're beautiful, you know." he told her, wanting to give her something for all the love she'd given him, and he watched her smile as her cheeks took on a pink glow.</p><p>"As pretty as Eddie?" she teased, batting her eyelashes at him, and squealing when he pinched her.</p><p>"You are so <em>mean</em>, Beverly Marsh!"</p><p>She rolled away from him as he got to his knees, laughing brightly and darting up the ladder before he could catch her.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Your mom is sending you <em>where</em>!?"</p><p>Eddie cringed, shrinking away from the rising volume in Richie's voice.</p><p>"Camp. It's some weird Christian place."</p><p>Richie's hands pushed up into his dark curls, a grimace twisting his features.</p><p>"What? <em>What</em>!?"</p><p>Eddie shrugged helplessly as he waved his hands around in the water, trying his best not to allow his own expression to crumple. He was gutted about camp, as gutted as Richie and maybe more, terrified about being sent away without his friends, without anybody he knew. Four weeks of new faces and new bullies, and god knows <em>what</em> kinds of bacteria, and-</p><p>"What do you even do at a camp like that?" Ben asked, swimming closer and looking at Eddie sympathetically.</p><p>Eddie shrugged.</p><p>"Pray, or something. Mom says it'll be good for me, and my soul. And they teach music, too. I might get to practice piano."</p><p>"That could be good," Bev said quietly, giving him a soft smile when he met her gaze.</p><p>"No it <em>won't</em>! This is stupid! Why are you going to some dumb Christian <em>Camp</em> instead of spending summer here? We had everything planned!"</p><p>"I'm sorry, Rich." Eddie replied, his voice wavering, "It wasn't my idea."</p><p>"I know." Richie finally sighed, slouching where he sat on the rock, "It's just…"</p><p>"We'll miss you." Bev finished, when Richie was quiet too long, "But we can do all the things we were going to when you get back. We'll still have half of summer left."</p><p>Eddie smiled gratefully at her.</p><p>"Are we playing chicken, or what?" Stan asked after a moment, his voice soft even under his usual snarky edge.</p><p>"You bet!" Mike cried, immediately pushing a small wave over Stan's face and splashing away when he yelled.</p><p>Eddie giggled as the screams and yelling broke out, alliances instantly forging, backing away until he bumped into the rock Richie was still perched on. It wasn't like the dark-curled boy to be late jumping into a water-fight, and when Eddie looked up at him he caught the strange expression on Richie's face just as it disappeared beneath a grin.</p><p>"You and me, Spaghetti?"</p><p>Eddie felt the anxious weight in his chest shrinking, relieved that Richie wasn't going to be mad at him all day.</p><p>"You know it." he answered.</p><p>And even though Richie laughed and kicked water in his face as he dropped down, the hand he slipped into Eddie's beneath the surface, to tug him toward the others, squeezed reassuringly.</p><p>~.~</p><p>"It won't be so bad at camp." Ben said as they reached their hideout.</p><p>"I bet you have fun." Mike agreed, dragging open the hatch and stepping back to let Bev go first.</p><p>She rolled her eyes and nudged at him for the gesture, making him laugh.</p><p>"Just-" Richie started, before breaking off to laugh at Mike play-slapping Beverly.</p><p>"D-d-don't replace us." Bill finished with a smirk, "Th-there's gonna be a whole b-b-bunch of losers there. We're b-better."</p><p>Eddie laughed, punching Richie's arm with a wide grin when the taller boy slung it tightly around his shoulders in a loose headlock.</p><p>"Like I could."</p><p>"Awwh, Eds just loves us <em>soooo</em> much!"</p><p>"Fuck off, dickwad," Eddie laughed back, wriggling out of the embrace but staying close, scowling gently as he fixed his hair best he could, "I'd replace <em>you</em> in a heartbeat."</p><p>Richie's mouth dropped open and he threw a hand over his heart as though mortally wounded, making them all laugh.</p><p>"Edward Spaghettward! You'd throw away what we have for someone else?"</p><p>Eddie grinned brightly at him, sure he'd miss Richie more than he knew.</p><p>"<em>In a heartbeat</em>."</p><p>Beverly lost her balance as she descended the ladder because she was laughing so hard and Ben rushed down to help her up, only succeeding in ending up laughing powerlessly with her. Her giggles were too infectious, the whole lot of them laughing for ages after, setting one another off again every time it grew calm. Richie tugged Eddie down into the hammock with him, and they settled as they always did in a pile of tangled limbs, weak kicking, and familiar insults.</p><p>~.~</p><p>They were long dry by the time the sun had begun its descent, and the Losers had parted ways. Most of them had made plans for next day, but Eddie wouldn't be joining them. His mother had already warned him he'd be busy, and though he was loathe to agree with anything she said he knew he did still have things to pack.</p><p>Each Loser hugged him a hard goodbye, but the mood was kept light. They didn't act like they weren't going to see him for a month, and Eddie appreciated it. But now, walking home in a familiar, quiet lull with Richie, Eddie was starting to feel the expanding anxiety in his chest again. The day had been good. Warm and summery, the perfect kind of day to spend in the Quarry with his favourite people, the perfect kind of afternoon to lie on the shore before returning to the Clubhouse. Eddie was sure there were other perfect ways to spend days, but his favourites were ones like today.</p><p>"Whatcha thinking, Eds?"</p><p>"You know that's not my name." he answered instantly, half-smiling at the sound of Richie's predictable answering chuckle.</p><p>"You love it." he grinned, one arm landing around Eddie's shoulders.</p><p>The shorter boy rolled his eyes but didn't pull away, and they walked for a minute more in silence before Eddie gave a soft hum. Richie's fingers tightened almost imperceptibly on his shoulder, and that was what did it.</p><p>"I don't want to go." he admitted without looking up at his friend, "I'd rather be here in Derry."</p><p>After a beat, he added, "Jeez, that's fucked, huh." and Richie snickered.</p><p>"I'd rather be anywhere than Derry." he answered with a snort, and even under the teasing lilt, Eddie could hear the bitterness.</p><p>The feeling was mutual. Amongst them all, like it always had been. But as time went on, Eddie had begun to realise that he didn't just wish to escape Derry. He wanted to escape Derry <em>with the Losers</em>. He dreaded the day, still years in the future, when they'd all go their own ways. But that was ages away, and Eddie needed to remember that. Still, it met the sad ache in his chest at the thought of leaving them for the dumb camp, for a whole <em>month</em>.</p><p>What if they replaced him? It seemed stupid, to worry that, but what if they made a new friend and everything was different by the time Eddie came home? What if-</p><p>"Mike's right." Richie interrupted his internal panic, smiling a little when Eddie looked but not quite meeting his eye, "it probably will be fun."</p><p>"Maybe." Eddie hedged.</p><p>"Sure," Richie continued with a laugh, "there won't be anybody there <em>half</em> as cool as me, but you'll probably survive."</p><p>Eddie elbowed him and Richie laughed with him as they turned the next corner. One more street and he'd be home, and it'd be a whole month before he saw his best friend again. His hand itched to reach out, but he couldn't. Not here in public, on their own, when anyone looking could see. He didn't need his mother having another reason to hate Richie. He had a hard enough time getting out of the house when she knew <em>that dirty Tozier boy</em> was gonna be there.</p><p>As they had grown, so had her hatred for Richie. No longer was he welcome in the Kaspbrak house. She lost her shit if he was on the doorstep to pick Eddie up for school. Most days now, Richie met him at the corner to keep the peace. Unless she'd been hard on Eddie the day before. On those days, Richie always seemed to show up on the doorstep, early and dressed in the loudest fucking shirt he had, his hair looking like it'd never seen a hairbrush, and his grin as wide as could be.</p><p>He'd bring pop tarts, too. Eddie wasn't allowed pop tarts. But Richie'd bring them, holding one right there in his hand while he ate his own, as though daring her to question whether he intended to give it to Eddie. Doubly galling, that it would be unwrapped already.</p><p>It didn't help, to piss her off like that. But it was Richie's way of showing her he didn't give a shit how much she hated him. And it always made Eddie feel better. Even if he scurried out of the house as fast as possible, even if he bitched at Richie causing trouble. They'd walk to school eating pop tarts and Eddie would be ready for the day ahead by the time they got there.</p><p>He wished he could say out loud how much he loved Richie. But fuck if there weren't a bazillion reasons not to.</p><p>"Eds?"</p><p>"Don't call me that." he snorted back automatically.</p><p>Richie's wide grin settled a lot of his nerves. He always did that, made shit better just by pretending everything was normal. Eddie felt his mood lifting, even with the dreadful looming of his home coming into sight down the next street. His feet slowed. Richie slowed beside him, suddenly much closer than before as he walked him. He probably didn't even know he'd done it, but Eddie noticed.</p><p>It was one of Richie's protective moves. It had popped into Eddie's head once, when Connor Bowers had taken up his cousin's mantle and was giving the Losers the same shit he always did. He'd lunged forward to take a poke at Eddie, and Richie had put himself in between them, taking the blow to his gut and shrugging it off.</p><p>Connor had some choice words for Richie, words that made Eddie's gut hurt, but Richie didn't even look at him. He walked real close to Eddie instead, tense and wound like a prowling wildcat, and the shorter boy could practically feel the urge that Richie was holding back; to throw an arm over Eddie's shoulder and draw him close.</p><p>As soon as they were out of sight, Eddie had ducked close, bumping their hips together and butting his head under Richie's armpit. Richie had softened and complied.</p><p>Eddie had noticed from then on how close Richie was when Bowers was around, and then at other times. When Connor's goons were around, when any other danger was. When Eddie was panicking, or worrying, or heading home to his psycho mother. Richie made him feel safe. Eddie wished for the hundredth time that he wasn't going to camp on Monday.</p><p>The street dwindled, even with their slow pace. Eddie felt the shadow looming, stretching out across the asphalt to reach like thick dark fingers for his toes. A shiver raced up his spine. They paused, on the edge of the sidewalk. Eddie could feel his mother's gaze from her chair in the lounge. He shifted until his back was mostly to her, and he fiddled with wristwatch while his eyes flickered upward.</p><p>Richie stood close. Closer than normal people would stand, just like the rest of the Losers often did. Eddie had been noticing it for months now, how close Richie was to him at any given time. The thought of being so many miles away for a whole month was making him nauseous. When their eyes met, Richie's mouth slipped up on one side in a half-grin.</p><p>"Don't say it," Eddie grumbled quickly, reading the light in his best friend's eyes, "whatever you're gonna say about my mom, don't you fucking dare say it."</p><p>Richie's hair shone with brown notes in the falling sun, giving him an oddly angelic kind of look. Eddie smiled back. He could feel the sharp gaze, burning into his neck, and he finally sighed.</p><p>"I gotta go, Rich."</p><p>Richie looked pointedly over Eddie's shoulder, and Eddie hid a wince. Always so bold, so unabashed. Eddie felt that old, brief envy as it tickled his throat. Some day he'd have the confidence that Richie did. Richie's eyes dropped back to his, and he grinned wide.</p><p>He tossed his arms theatrically around Eddie, caring naught for Mrs Kaspbrak glaring at them through the thin lace of the curtain. He ignored Eddie's surprised yelp as he toppled the smaller boy into his embrace, and only chuckled instead. Eddie almost wriggled away instantly, but the knowledge this was the last time until he got back from camp was an ice-cube in his belly. He pressed close for as long as he dared, digging his fingers into Richie's back.</p><p>When he was pulling away, Richie ruffled his hair and smiled at him in that gentle way that Eddie liked best, stripped of his teasing edge and mischief.</p><p>"I'll miss you." he mumbled with the last of his fading courage as he turned away towards the house.</p><p>He'd kept his mother waiting long enough.</p><p>"We'll be together again before you know it!" Richie chirped back, half-slipping into a dumb British accent, and Eddie spared him a grateful glance before opening the dreadful front door.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie lay in the hammock. The Clubhouse was mostly quiet. The others were playing tic tac toe and battleships. Stan was reading on the swing. There was a comic book on Richie's chest but he'd already grown bored of it. Instead, he was watching the dust motes float lazily down from the thick wooden beams, catching in the filtered sunlight peeking between the hidden ceiling.</p><p>Everything was <em>quiet</em>. Not unpleasantly so, though it would be after a while. At least for him. He could only take so much quiet before the itch would come back, and he'd have to do something else. But right now he was still, the hammock swaying only slightly, lighter than it usually was.</p><p>It was nice to have it to himself. He could stretch his legs right out straight and take up as much space as he liked. It was nice. It wasn't like there was really room for more than one person in it, anyway. So Richie lay, watching the dust fall, thinking about how the hammock couldn't feel <em>empty</em>, when he practically filled it himself.</p><p>It was <em>nice</em>.</p><p>Stanley turned a page in his book. Bill gave a good-natured hiss when Bev sank his battleship. After a moment Mike chuckled, and his pencil scratched a new game out on the paper he and Ben were using. The air was warm, the summer was already well on its way to proving it knew what heat really was.</p><p>They'd spent the last few days like this, just hanging together in the Barrens, in their hideout. Languid, lazy hours filled with gentle conversation. It actually <em>had</em> been nice, really. Richie was just… Not really bored, but a kind of bored. He'd tried to wind Stan up most of yesterday, but his curly-haired friend had given up even responding to his jokes after only an hour, and it just wasn't the same if the other party didn't supply the other side.</p><p>What he was thinking, really, when it came right down to it, was that it had been a long four days without Eddie. It wasn't unusual to go a day or two here or there, without his best friend during the holidays. Sometimes Eddie's mom still kept him inside with some dumb illness, or some other stupid reason. Personally, Richie was always keen to bother her and wrangle Eddie out, or climb the tree to help Eddie sneak out. Or sneak in, to spend the afternoon in Eddie's room reading or talking quietly so they wouldn't get caught.</p><p>But this time the four days had dragged with intent, soaked in the knowledge that they were four of many, and Richie was trying his best not to think about it like that. Because a part of him knew it would make the four week wait even worse.</p><p>Half their whole summer, for pete's sake. It was ridiculous. Sure, he'd have the other Losers most days. Bev and Mike, when they could shirk their responsibilities without getting into too much trouble. Stan was gonna visit his cousins in a couple weeks, but he'd only be gone five days. Ben had to help his mom clear out their old stuff when they moved, but that would only be in the afternoons sometimes, he'd still be free most anytime else. And Bill would be there the whole summer, more or less, except for the one weekend his dad was gonna take him fishing.</p><p>He'd have all the others. He probably wasn't even going to have a single day where there was <em>nobody</em> to hang out with. But it still wouldn't be quite the same without Eddie.</p><p>Richie blew his fringe out of his face. It needed cut, really. He'd been dodging his mom's not-so-subtle comments about it. He did need it cut, especially with the godawful heat they'd be getting in the middle of summer. Just not yet. Usually he let it grow long and messy to the point where it would invite the others to tease him. It was the same every year, like tradition. Once they started, he'd enjoy a couple days of bantering with them and then that's when he'd finally cave in and let his mom press him into a chair and pull out her scissors. Once Eddie had begun rolling his eyes and making snide comments with that quirk in his lips that made Richie's belly heat and his tongue lash out with stupid comebacks. Except Eddie wouldn't be back for weeks yet, and his hair was already sticking at the nape of his neck with sweat most afternoons.</p><p>Three whole weeks, and three days. He could survive that. He couldn't deprive Eddie of the yearly chance to talk shit about his hair. It just wouldn't be right. Eddie's hair of course, never got anywhere near as long.</p><p>Though it was nice when it <em>did</em> get the chance to overgrow just a little bit. Sonia was much stricter than Maggie in a lot of ways. Hell, Sonia was a horrid bitch, it wasn't even fair to compare the two. Richie's mom drove him crazy sometimes, but she was in a whole other fucking league from Eddie's psycho mother. But sometimes, very rarely, Eddie's hair would start to curl softly around his ears before she struck and sheared it back again.</p><p>Richie would never say, but he quite liked when that happened. The curling, not the shearing. When Eddie's hair grew out it'd sit a little different, taking on a gentle wave along his forehead, curling just a little at his ears and lying differently at the back. It was harder to smooth into Eddie's usual neatness, and that was what Richie liked best about it. Not just the frustration it brought out in Eddie that was fun to tease, but also because the summer sun would reveal tiny glints of red in the almost-mess of familiar brown.</p><p>Sometimes it'd happen right as Eddie looked up at him, his nose scrunched, his skin tan, his lips smirking as he tossed back a barb of his own in reply to whatever Richie had said, his eyes glowing like dark amber in the sunshine. When that happened Richie's whole stomach would dive to his feet in a deep swoop that was equal parts frightening and pleasant. He sighed and flexed out his toes, watching as he did so without brushing against someone else being piled into the hammock with him.</p><p>Richie looked over at Stan in an attempt to derail his train of thought. Stan was absorbed in his book, his usual pinched features smoothed out absently, the faint ghost of a smile hiding unseen behind his lips. Richie blew out his fringe again. In the corner of his eye, he saw Bev glance up. Her face swung from him to Stan.</p><p>Richie grinned.</p><p>"You know it's summer, Stan?"</p><p>Stan didn't even look up, barely quirking one eyebrow.</p><p>"Is that why it's hot out?"</p><p>Someone snickered. Richie waited a beat, but nothing else came from him. He watched Stan finish one page and turn to the next.</p><p>"You're not starting the summer reading already, are you?" he taunted, using his most annoying Voice.</p><p>Stan's eyes flicked to Richie, barely, but Richie grinned widely. There was a trace of triumph on his tongue.</p><p>"You <em>are</em>?"</p><p>Stan sighed, and lowered the book to fix Richie with a tired and exasperated look.</p><p>"Smartest thing to do, with you around. Never know what trouble you'll get us into."</p><p>Richie ignored the bait, his grin widening lasciviously.</p><p>"Stan The <em>Man</em>, are you crushing on your Lit Teacher?"</p><p>Stan's eyes slid to the ceiling as he loosed a groan long-suffering, as though there were someone up there who might smite Richie down. Or mute him. Richie howled triumphantly at the initial lack of denial, and Stan's eyes snapped back to him with a glare.</p><p>"You're not funny."</p><p>Richie beamed.</p><p>"No, I'm hilarious."</p><p>Stan shook his head, but he closed his book and crossed his arms as he sat straighter, pinning Richie with his unimpressed gaze. For a moment they battled silently, Richie's eyes glinting with wicked delight as Stan's met them, the latter's level and weary. The others were watching, activities forgotten. Richie's lips curled up further as the moment stretched on but Stan's expression didn't change.</p><p>Eventually, Richie cocked an eyebrow and Stan snorted.</p><p>"You're just looking for someone to bicker with because Eddie's not here." he eventually hummed, opening his book again and ignoring Richie's startled expression, "And my Lit teacher is a guy, dumbass."</p><p>Bev and Bill laughed the loudest when the others spluttered into surprised giggles, and Stan's mouth lifted on just one side with his pleased amusement as he returned to his book.</p><p>It didn't matter that Richie's comments got increasingly more lewd over the next several minutes. Stanley kept his eyes resolutely on his novel and ignored him, which took most of the fun out of it, much to Richie's petulant displeasure.</p><p>Twenty minutes later they were climbing out to get their bikes and head for the Quarry though, because the calm atmosphere inside had finally run its course.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Okay. This story, (like nearly everything I write) has gotten away from me. It's headed to be a bunch longer than I meant it to. (And touch some issues deeper than I first expected.)<br/>All the tags still apply, and some more will likely be added.</p><p>There's a lot of introspection from Eddie in this chapter, but we'll get some more Bev&amp;Richie fluff shortly.</p><p>As always, you guys are amazing! Your comments make my day, and it's so exciting so see people enjoying something I'm having so much fun writing!<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It'd been a rough morning for Eddie. That was putting it mildly. It had fucking <em>sucked</em>. The bus was cramped and stuffy, and the journey had been torturously long. The kid beside him had a cold or something, and kept wiping his runny nose all over the sleeve right next to Eddie. When they finally got to the stupid place, it only took a single glance at the buildings to know they weren't gonna be clean enough inside to soothe his stupid panicky stomach. The fence at the entrance was painted bright and white, but the further along he looked, the more faded it got. The grass was long and wavy there. It made Eddie think of the Barrens, and that only made him wish harder that he could go home.</p><p>Finally the bus drew up beside the large wooden arch and they were freed from the airless box. The day was hot and sweet with the smell of the grass, almost so much so that it caught in his nose. Reminding himself that he didn't actually <em>have</em> any of those old allergies that floated to the surface of his mind, though, brushed the sensation aside. However, Eddie's breath of relief was short-lived. The stern-faced woman with the clipboard who met them was brusque and unpleasant as she herded them inside the confines of the camp that would be his home away from home for the next month.</p><p>He was right, of course. The cabin huts were old and rickety under their colourful, fading paint, and they smelled like moss and damp wood on the inside despite the searing heat of the late morning sun already dousing them in warm yellow. The beds were eight to a cabin, four on either side of the room, with not enough space between them for Eddie's liking. His bed was on the right of the main door, way down the bottom, the very last before the heavy blue door at the end that led to the communal bathroom and probably Eddie's biggest problem with the hut.</p><p>The blue door opened directly onto a room split by an arch on the left. Directly in front of the door, two enclosed stalls perpendicular to two urinals on the right. To the left through the arch, a tiled square with two pairs of shower-heads separated by jutting brickwork, barely a foot long. Eddie shuddered in dread as he stared at the failed attempt at privacy, reminded of the shower-room in his High School. He'd really been hoping they'd have curtains. Four weeks in this place was going to kill him, he just knew it. The entire bathroom made him nauseous. It was <em>crawling</em> with bacteria, untold numbers of diseases.</p><p>As he set his duffel bag down atop the questionable bedspread, he eyed the boy in the bed next to his. He was taller than Eddie, heavier and broad-shouldered. But what caught Eddie's eye was the mess of his hair, the way he dumped his stuff everywhere when he unpacked, and the collection of food stains on his shirt. Eddie grimaced, trying his best not to show the way he could feel his nose wrinkling. It was hard to picture a worse person to sleep so close to.</p><p>Vaguely in his head, he could just imagine Richie laughing about God testing him early. It was gonna be a long four weeks.</p><p>"You'll have time to unpack later." came the busy voice of the woman once she'd given the brief tour of their tiny sleeping quarters, "Leave your things and follow me, it's almost time for your first camp sermon."</p><p>She seemed not to hear the combined groans of the others as the boys reluctantly filed out after her. Eddie stayed quiet. His mom would skin him if she got any word that he was misbehaving. The lecture she'd given him the night before was fresh in his mind. There was no doubt at all left in Eddie that this was a punishment. He hadn't told the others, because he knew they'd only worry. And because, he could admit now, he was still naively hoping that he was wrong and that his mother <em>did</em> still have a spark of good left in her.</p><p>His stomach burned in shame as he looked around him, walking down the path of greying white gravel, the grass in this area kept neat and short. The sun was already fiercely burning above them as though in judgement. His mother hadn't specified when she had set this sentence upon him, but a part of him had known. All of the faces around him, ranging from kids smaller than him right up to kids he was pretty sure were close to graduating high school, were all boys.</p><p>His mom had told him God would steer him onto the right path again. She'd said he needed to be here, closest to God for the whole month, for his 'healing' to properly work. And maybe she <em>did</em> believe that. But Eddie'd known it was an excuse, too. She just wanted to send him away from his friends. She'd always thought they were a terrible influence on him, ever since he was little. The summer they'd finally found their Lucky Seven, although the worst summer he'd ever had in his life, he knew was also one of his best.</p><p>He loved his friends, and they loved him. Even on the worst days, even when he pushed them away, even when he lied right to their faces and they <em>knew</em> it. He would never stop being angry when Sonia said the things she did about them. About Bev being a slut, about Stan worshipping a false god and being damned for it, about Mike's skin somehow making him worth less than the rest of Derry, her snide comments about Ben's weight or his 'useless' mom.</p><p>She was usually okay with Bill, he'd always had that effect on grown ups. But she still mocked him sometimes, when she was in one of her worst moods. She'd mimic his stutter and say the worst kinds of things about their friends, and Eddie had not yet worked out how he was supposed to take it and not snap back at her. And she knew, somehow, that the best way to do it was Richie. She hated him most of all, made comments about him pretty much daily, and Eddie could take that. Hell, he could even ignore most of it.</p><p>She was a monstrous bitch and she was wrong about them all, and Eddie knew it. But she could still get to him, and she'd used Richie to do it more often than any of the others. She said Richie was dirty, that he'd turned his back on God and practiced the most sinful things known to man. She said he was tainting Eddie more than any of the others. She didn't use the words, the ones that the Bowers cousins and their goons had slung at them for years. But he saw them in her eyes. He knew what her comments were for.</p><p>And it pissed him off. Every time. Because Richie was the one still carrying an inhaler in his schoolbag every day even though he thought Eddie didn't know. Richie was the one who'd watched Eddie play doctor so closely that he actually knew a lot of the things Eddie was going to say, he just pretended not to. Richie was smart, and his motormouth was a defence mechanism. Sure, Eddie hadn't known that at first when they were little, he'd fallen for it for a while. But sometimes Richie and his awful, predictable jokes were all that held Eddie together.</p><p>He was Eddie's best friend. And Sonia knew it. And that was part of why she hated him; she knew he stood between Eddie and her, and that Eddie loved his friends. She saw them as stealing Eddie from her. She wanted him all to herself, to stay home with her and wait on her hand and foot, and indulge her stupid psycho brain.</p><p>Eddie knew, as he was led through the blinding sunshine and neat grass to the big church hall, that that was why he was here. Because in the end, his mom couldn't handle that he loved his friends, and she wanted God to help her take Eddie back from them.</p><p>(He knew there was more to it, too. But he was too afraid to think about it, yet.)</p><p>The hard wooden pews waited for the flood of boys, the dark unpainted wood polished shiny. He was lucky, the first in his row, so at least he only had someone crammed in next to him on one side. He gave Eddie a pained smile when he caught the shorter boy looking, and Eddie was so surprised he almost didn't return the small offer of shared commiseration.</p><p>"I'll try not to squash you." he whispered into Eddie's ear a minute later, making him jump.</p><p>The reverend was talking to them and Eddie was trying to listen, but he couldn't help glancing up the the face watching him.</p><p>"Uhm, thanks." he muttered back, just to be polite.</p><p>The kid grinned. He was making Eddie nervous, leaning into his space like that. He was only really okay with the Losers being this close. Other people made him want to back up, but the kid didn't seem to notice when Eddie leaned away. He was Eddie's age, maybe a year older. He was skinny, and even though he was hunched over in the shoulders, Eddie could tell he was tall. He was pretty sure he'd seen him in the cabin. His hair wasn't much longer at the sides than Eddie's, but it spilled over his forehead in a mess of wheat-gold loops, making his eyes a startling shade of aquamarine.</p><p>"Your first time here?"</p><p>Eddie swallowed and shifted further away uncomfortably at the thought of his mother, and the kid leaned back out of his space, the grin falling.</p><p>"Sorry." he said and looked toward the front of the room again, leaving Eddie relieved, and a little bit baffled.</p><p>The reverend was starting the service for real, though, so Eddie took heed and gave the tall, bulky man his undivided attention. He wasn't entirely sure he believed in God the same way his mother did, anymore. He'd spent his childhood terrified of the man in the sky who would do all the awful things to his soul that she said, if he was a bad person.</p><p>But then she'd started talking about how his friends were damned, and why they were, and Eddie was less sure she was right. She couldn't be <em>totally</em> right. His friends were good people, with good souls, and good hearts. They'd saved him countless times, from It, from Bowers. From the asthma he didn't really have. From his mom. From himself.</p><p>Still, Eddie thought as he listened to the man, there was no point in angering God if he really was watching them as closely in this place as everybody said he was.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Your turn."</p><p>Richie snapped out of the daydream he'd fallen into when an elbow knocked him, and he dragged up a grin.</p><p>"Don't mind if I do, Stan The Man!" he declared loudly as he took the bottle, only grinning further when Stan groaned.</p><p>"Shut up, jeez. Do you have to talk so loud?"</p><p>"Yes!" he answered, louder, just to make Stan shove him.</p><p>He took a long pull from the dark glass, swallowing down the burn in a practiced move. Stan raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him as he passed the bottle to Ben, and Richie grinned proudly once more. Stan sighed.</p><p>"You know that shit's bad for your liver, right? Go easy on it."</p><p>Richie rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands. The insects were buzzing sleepily in the dusk, and although the moonlight was reflected gently by the wide pool of water in the quarry, the trees they were seated by cast tall, reaching shadows. It was almost eery, but kind of beautiful. Derry was different, at night. You could almost convince yourself it wasn't Derry, sometimes. Richie kind of liked it.</p><p>"Lighten up, Staniel." he answered, just to further irritate him.</p><p>Truth was, Richie could do with taking his own advice. With it being two and a half weeks since he'd last seen Eddie, he was feeling just a touch glum. Not that the others knew, of course. He was hiding it perfectly. Well, except from Bev, but Bev knew shit the others didn't, so he was okay not hiding it from her when they were on their own.</p><p>"When are you going to grow up?" Stan snarked back, shaking his head, "We're getting too old for dumb nicknames."</p><p>Richie snorted in disbelief.</p><p>"If you think I won't be calling you Staniel when we're fifty, you're delusional."</p><p>Stan rolled his eyes heavenwards, and the others laughed. The bottle made another circuit in the lull.</p><p>"Do you really think we'll still be friends when we're fifty?"</p><p>Ben blushed when all the eyes turned to him, but he didn't hide from it. They'd all asked it, one time or another. When the thought that maybe they wouldn't took hold. Richie never asked it out loud, of course. Not so clearly, so openly. But Ben wasn't scared to show when he was feeling like that. Sometimes Stan got sad, that sadness that would sit in his eyes, old beyond their years.</p><p>"Course we will," Bev this time, her smile soft and warm and making Ben turn further red, "All seven of us."</p><p>"Y-you really th-think so?"</p><p>She nodded confidently, taking the bottle back from Bill. She looked between them and gave a laugh.</p><p>"Eddie leaves for two weeks and you all fall apart?"</p><p>Ben shifted and looked away shyly as his face turned truly red.</p><p>"I miss him, that's all. Makes me think about whether we'll all go our own ways after graduation." he shrugged, "If we do, how often will we meet up? We could go months without seeing each other. Years, even. It'll be weird, not having you guys around."</p><p>The mood shifted, falling quiet at his words. Richie swallowed hard. It only took a glance at his friends to see that Ben had voiced something they all feared, even if they usually pretended for each other that they didn't. It was ridiculous though… Right? They'd still be friends in the future. They had to be. Richie didn't think he wanted to think about a future where he didn't have Eddie to keep him grounded, Bev to soothe his fears, Ben to say all the things the rest of them were too afraid to.</p><p>He looked to Stan, who met his eyes. It was there, the tired wisdom that made him look old. Richie had to look away.</p><p>"I miss him too." Bev said suddenly, her thumbnail worrying the label of the whiskey bottle they'd managed to smuggle from Bill's.</p><p>Bill sighed heavily.</p><p>"Y-yeah. Me too."</p><p>"It's less than two weeks to go." Stan said softly, looking around.</p><p>It sounded a lot like <em>I miss him too</em>, though. Richie kind of wished the whiskey was stronger. He felt a little woozy, but it wasn't quite enough to make him giddy yet, and that only meant the sad longing in his chest wasn't suffocated yet.</p><p>"What about you, Rich?"</p><p>Richie struggled to pull up a grin when he met Ben's eye. Sweet Ben, who was asking him an honest question, ready to comfort him if he said he missed Eddie too.</p><p>"Me?" he asked, forcing a laugh, "Not me. Hammock all to myself, dude."</p><p>Four faces gave him skeptical looks as he feigned innocence.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Beverly and Bill laughed, Ben grinning and shaking his head. Stan only snorted and kept staring at him like he could see right through the lie. They probably all could, but Stan was making it obvious, and that wasn't the deal. The deal was that Richie hid shit and they didn't see it, or at least pretended they couldn't.</p><p>"What?" he asked again, clearly with no self-preservation, and when Stan's eyes lit he wished he hadn't had any whiskey at all.</p><p>"You're a terrible liar, Richie."</p><p>Richie blew his overgrown fringe out of his face and sat up properly, reaching for the bottle Bev was still holding. She passed him it with a faint smirk.</p><p>"Whatever. It's been nice and quiet without him, don'tcha think?"</p><p>"It's b-b-been quiet without y-your f-f-fighting." Bill grinned.</p><p>Richie rolled his eyes while taking another swig from the whiskey bottle, not resisting particularly hard when Stan took it from him with a scolding sound, handing it to Ben again.</p><p>"You got me there, Big Bill."</p><p>Ben giggled, taking a drink and passing it to Bill again. Bev and Stan were laughing together, and Richie felt suddenly like he'd missed something being said. His narrowed eyes earned him nothing but matching, knowing smirks, and he groaned. He flopped back against the mossy ground as they all laughed at him. The sky was a deep indigo, speckled with surprisingly bright silver stars. It was really kind of pretty.</p><p>"Alright, alright." he sighed, trying his best to sound amused, "I admit it. I miss the Spaghetti Man too."</p><p>"Like anybody believed otherwise." Bev chuckled, sipping noisily from the bottle.</p><p>"It makes sense," Ben murmured placatingly, bless him, "I think you'd miss him most of all."</p><p>Richie turned his head to raise eyebrows at Ben in an attempt to make him laugh, but all Ben did was smile sweetly at him, making Richie's face feel a little flushed against the cool night breeze. He didn't really know how to answer, and the silence began to drag on uncomfortably.</p><p>"Nah," Bev said, saving him as she passed Stan the bottle, "I miss him more."</p><p>"N-not true." Bill laughed, "I do!"</p><p>Stan snorted and rolled his eyes at them as they argued the point playfully, and Richie grinned. When the nearly-empty bottle was bumped against his knuckles, his gaze slid down from the sky to meet Stan's intense, amused gaze, and when he sat up to drink Stan reached over to give his wrist a brief, gentle squeeze. Richie looked away, heat flashing through his chest. It must be obvious he was feeling blue. He cleared his throat and took a mouthful.</p><p>The bottle was getting light, alcohol burning warm in his stomach. He'd almost certainly had more than anyone else, and he felt a little bad about it. Not that they ever minded.</p><p>"Two weeks is forever." he whined, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he passed Ben the whiskey.</p><p>Bev and Bill fell quiet. Richie fidgeted with the hem of his long shorts, frowning. He could feel them all looking at him like he'd said something weird or profound or something, and shrugged when nobody replied. Maybe he'd sounded funny. He felt real woozy all of a sudden. Maybe he'd had too much too fast. It was going to his head.</p><p>"D'you think he's doing okay?" he asked quietly, when the others continued to stay quiet.</p><p>"I'm sure he's fine." Bev said instantly, and not for the first time.</p><p>"H-he's Eddie. He's t-t-tougher than he looks." Bill chuckled.</p><p>Richie gave half a smile, watching his nail imprint a deep line in the grass-stained denim at his knee.</p><p>"I bet he's already done first aid like eight times." Ben said, and they all laughed.</p><p>Richie felt weird at the thought, but it did make him feel better to think of how fierce the little spitfire could be. Eddie could hold his own, even though he was small. Richie just hoped he didn't get into any fights with guys like Henry Bowers. Eddie hadn't said anything about how old the people at the camp would be. What if there were guys a lot older and bigger than Eddie? What if they were bullying him, and none of the adults were doing anything, the way they usually did in Derry?</p><p>"He's fine." Bev said confidently, smiling reassuringly when Richie finally looked up, "He'll be back in eleven days, and you'll feel stupid for worrying."</p><p>"I'm not <em>worried</em>." he shot back instantly, but it was clear nobody believed him.</p><p>"He's probably enjoying the peace and quiet." Stan smiled, his eyes glinting when he turned them on Richie.</p><p>Bill laughed brightly, Bev giggling helplessly, though she tried to cover it with her hands. Ben did the best job by far of pretending he didn't think Stan was funny, sipping slowly from the neck of the whiskey bottle. Richie rolled his eyes again and tried to hide his own smile.</p><p>"That hurts, Staniel the Maniel." he whined, stretching the nickname out ridiculously and batting his eyes theatrically at Stan all the while, "I'm a <em>delight</em>!"</p><p>Stan shoved him and he lost his balance drunkenly, landing in the moss with a breathless laugh. Conversation took hold of the other Losers again, and Richie failed to find the energy to sit back up. He looked up at the late night sky and tracked the stars as he listened to the sounds of their voices. He wondered if Eddie was looking at the sky right then, if he could see the round disk of the moon the same as Richie could.</p><p>And then he closed his eyes in silent embarrassment, because he sounded like a damn chick with that cliche shit.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie was probably the only one who didn't grumble when they were woken up in the morning, and almost definitely the only one who didn't complain when, after breakfast and separated into groups, they were commanded into double-file and led from the main campground and along the inside boundary, and told to follow the fencing around the entire area of the camp.</p><p>Eddie had only glimpsed some parts of the faded white fence, and was curious just how far away the far end was. It was stuffy in the Church Hall when they did arts and crafts after prayer the day before, so even though it was scorching in the late morning sun, Eddie was relieved to be outside.</p><p>Even if it meant being paired up and told to run the whole way, in some exercise to bring them closer to God through the challenge of it or whatever.</p><p>The only problem, really, was that Eddie's partner was a huge boy at least a year older than him, who scowled and grumbled and didn't make conversation, and who reminded Eddie of a boy he hadn't seen since the Police locked him up for killing his daddy. Things were okay until the boy started slowing down.</p><p>Eddie didn't notice properly, not at first, but eventually he realised they'd slowed down enough that the pair in front were getting further away. He must have been matching pace with the boy automatically while his mind wandered around. He was <em>supposed</em> to be talking to God while he ran, but Eddie had settled into the pleasant rhythm of their jog and thought about the Barrens instead, where the grass was long and the water sparkled in the sun, and the insects buzzed familiarly under the melodic sound of the Losers, laughing.</p><p>He eyed the bigger boy, who seemed not to notice, and bit his lip as their pace slowed again. They were last in the line, and that meant there was nobody there with them if they got lost. Sure, the woman had said they would stick to the fence the whole way. The fence had to lead back to the campsite eventually, Eddie knew that. But the little trickle of anxiety came anyway, ghosting across his chest.</p><p>"Hey, we're- uh, we're slowing down. We're gonna get left…" The boy turned his head to look at him, and Eddie felt the sentence start dying away, "… behind."</p><p>Eddie came up to the guy's elbows. The thought struck him suddenly, and coupled with the way the kid was looking at him, Eddie started growing nervous. He nearly jumped when he finally spoke back.</p><p>"Who cares?"</p><p>Eddie glanced towards the disappearing backs of the boys who had been in front of them, and even in the bright sear of the sunshine, his arms prickled up with goosebumps.</p><p>"She- ah, she's gonna be real upset if-"</p><p>The boy laughed at him, stopping completely, and grinning dangerously when Eddie stopped too. He'd been told to stick to his partner like glue, but the urge to just turn and run after the others was pretty damn strong. The other boy looked at him with intense dark eyes as he closed the distance between them, and Eddie took an involuntary step back before he could help himself. The grin grew more toothy. Eddie's stomach churned with fresh dread.</p><p>He hadn't <em>done</em> anything, but Eddie knew the look. Lord knew he knew the look, he'd seen it all his life. Shit. Shit, what if this got bad and there was nobody-</p><p>"What's your name, kid?"</p><p>Eddie's tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and refused to move. The kid cocked his head to one side, his eyes taunting Eddie like they knew he was getting scared. Asshole.</p><p>"Cummon, you can tell me. My name's Tyler. We're here to make friends, ain't we?" eyes flickered menacingly over Eddie's face, "You ain't been here before. I'm bein' friendly, see?"</p><p>Eddie continued to stare at him, his voice stuck in his throat.</p><p>"You know it ain't polite to ignore someone bein' nice to ya." a frown flickered across his eyes and made him look even more menacing for a second before it cleared into the grin again, "I <em>said</em>, what's your name, short stack?"</p><p>He almost looked like he was ready to reach out, so Eddie flinched away. Tyler gave a short laugh, but it didn't reach his eyes. They were dark with the same look Henry Bowers used to have, the same one Connor got every time he was gonna hurt them. Eddie felt decidedly less safe. He could practically feel the other boys getting further and further away.</p><p>Was it too late to yell for them? He wanted to. But it stuck in his throat as he shifted a little further away. He was beginning to feel crowded. The kid was much bigger than he was, and the fence was behind Eddie.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"Eddie." he eventually mumbled, edging past and wishing he had somewhere to go that wasn't back in step with the line, "We should- we should catch up…"</p><p>Just his luck to get stuck right at the back with a bully. Eddie felt the sweat drip down the nape of his neck and slide under his t-shirt. His pulse jumped up a notch. His fingers felt thick and numb but they itched to reach for his inhaler. He was nearly past when the looming shadow simply side-stepped and blocked him once more. One arm knocked Eddie deliberately as he reached out and took hold of the top of the little fence.</p><p>"You wanna play a game, Eddie? It's real fun."</p><p>His voice made the words slither from his mouth like a snake slipping through the long grass beneath their feet. Eddie knew a bully voice when he heard it, Lord knew. He doubted that whatever the game was would be fun at all, at least for him.</p><p>Eddie shook his head, shying away from the arm trying to cage him against the picket fence, but Tyler only shifted his weight the other way and then Eddie was stuck between both arms, the sharp old wood digging into the middle of his back through his t-shirt. An uneasy adrenaline spiked in his legs and he was reminded painfully of the last time Connor had cornered him, both hands flat on the wall behind Eddie.</p><p>He could remember the smell of Connor's sweat and the sourness of his breath when he spat torturous words at Eddie as people just walked past and did nothing, and Tyler was sweating as much as Eddie was, maybe more.</p><p>Even outside of Derry, assholes like Connor were gonna find him. They were always gonna find him, when he didn't have the Losers to help him. His stomach turned over and he started feeling sick.</p><p>"What's wrong, Eddie?"</p><p>Eddie swallowed, his eyes darting in the direction they were supposed to be running. How long until someone noticed he wasn't there?</p><p>A cold kind of laugh bubbled into his windpipe at the idea. Who was gonna notice? It hadn't even been two days. He didn't have any friends. Hell, he couldn't even properly remember the names of all the boys in his cabin yet.</p><p>"Nothing, I gotta- we're falling behind."</p><p>Tyler laughed properly that time, and he gave Eddie a grin that made him think of how hard Connor Bowers could hit him before he fell down. His limbs itched with adrenaline and he shifted his weight. Fight or flight, he remembered Bill called it one time. His body would decide for him, sometimes. Which one it was going to be. Eddie shivered.</p><p>"We're not gonna get into trouble." Tyler wheedled, the threatening tone thinly veiled, "They won't ev-"</p><p>"Hey Tyler, whatcha doin'?"</p><p>Eddie's head snapped towards the voice, and he saw the two boys walking along the way they'd just come. Painful relief rose in his chest. He'd thought they were right at the back of the pack. Tyler leaned away, and when he did Eddie took his chance and shoved one arm out of his way, finding the energy to scowl at the bigger boy when he glanced back at him.</p><p>Eddie should go, he realised as he looked between the three of them, in case maybe-</p><p>Oh, he knew those two. The skinny blonde from his cabin, who had the bed across the room from Eddie. Jake. No, Jeb? <em>Jed</em>. The other boy was nearly as tall, broad-shouldered with shorter, tidier hair. The kind of brown that looked red in the sunshine. Eddie drew a blank on his name as they reached them, but he watched them warily as they looked between him and Tyler.</p><p>"You're shit at making friends." Jed said, and Eddie wasn't sure which one of them he was talking to.</p><p>The boy with him snickered, and they paused beside the pair of them.</p><p>"Eddie, right?"</p><p>Eddie swallowed, but he nodded carefully. Jed grinned, stepping around Tyler and motioning to Eddie as he continued walking.</p><p>"How good can you fake a twisted ankle, Eddie?"</p><p>Eddie blinked in surprise at him as his feet automatically started moving again, throwing a glance over his shoulder at the other boy, who was following. Tyler still stood where he'd crowded Eddie against the fence, with a weird look on his face that Eddie couldn't read. Confusion, and a whole lot of something else. He scowled when he caught Eddie looking, so Eddie snapped his gaze forwards again.</p><p>"I… uh... What?"</p><p>Jed gave him a look and leaned down as though sharing a secret, even though there was nobody close enough to hear besides his friend.</p><p>"A limp, Eddie. As a reason why you're late."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>A fresh kind of dread trickled into his stomach at that.</p><p>"Oh, shit, we have to-"</p><p>A hand caught his arm as he tried to start running again, and when he looked up Jed was suppressing a laugh.</p><p>"Nah, see, Bryar twisted his ankle," he thumbed over his shoulder, "so I walked with him so he wouldn't be stuck by himself." his lips tugged into a conspiratorial curve, "Gotta stick to our pairs, y'know."</p><p>It didn't take a genius to tell Eddie that Bryar had done no such thing, for the boy wasn't even limping. But then, if it was a ruse…</p><p>"He's only gotta do it where they can see." Jed said as if he'd read his mind, and Eddie flushed a little at being caught thinking it.</p><p>"How good is your fake?"</p><p>Eddie found himself laughing in surprise, and Jed's eyes sparkled when Eddie gave him a shy smile. Something jumped to mind, and to his further surprise, he smiled back confidently.</p><p>"I… My mom thinks I have asthma." he said, finally tugging the old inhaler from his pocket and giving it an explanatory pull.</p><p>He knew he didn't actually need it, but the familiar faux-medicine taste was comforting on his tongue and made it easier to relax. Jed gave a pleased crow and clapped Eddie on the back.</p><p>"Perfect. So you had an asthma attack, and me and Bryar found you."</p><p>Bryar made a noise of confirmation from just behind them, and when Eddie turned to look the brunette gave him a smile.</p><p>"What about Tyler?" he asked, eying the boy who was dragging his heels a little further back, kicking at weeds and scowling.</p><p>"Oh, we didn't see him." Jed answered with widened eyes, shrugging his shoulders, "He just turned up right before we got back to the campgrounds."</p><p>When Eddie laughed again at the bold plan, Jed knocked their hips together. Eddie smiled to himself as they made the rest of the trip back in a comfortable kind of silence, and when Jed relayed their fabricated tale to the waspish woman who looked ready to scream, Eddie did his best to look small and pathetic, clutching tight at his inhaler and shaking his head at her when Tyler tried to argue that he hadn't left the path.</p><p>Whether because it was three to one or Jed was just a convincing liar, or maybe even because Eddie probably <em>did</em> still look weak and asthmatic like he had all his childhood, the woman dragged Tyler off after shooing the three of them back to their cabin to shower before lunch, so it turned out okay.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I know this chapter is a little shorter, but it didn't feel like it wanted to stretch out longer.<br/>I love the dynamics of all the Losers, all their friendship nuances.<br/>Bev &amp; Richie just make me heckin happy :3</p><p>Your comments and support sustain me. I'm always so pleased to hear what your thoughts are so far!<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you gonna do anything about it?"</p><p>Richie pushed his hair back out of his face, squeezing his palms flat to force out the water. He looked over at her curiously, raising an eyebrow. Her skin was still strawberries-and-cream despite how much sun they'd gotten in the weeks since school let out. Her hair was already drying from the jump earlier, burning warm and auburn in the glory of the noon sunshine. She was smiling expectantly at him as she swam closer, and the details of her face became less blurry.</p><p>"About what?" he asked, splashing her half-heartedly when she got close enough, grinning when she giggled.</p><p>"About him." she answered, fixing him with her gaze. Her eyes glittered with the blue of the water, that rare mellow green giving her a pretty, understated look.</p><p>Her smirk was soft, still teasing but kind, and he swallowed down the initial fear that always bounced up into his throat whenever the subject came up. Bev's eyes turned sympathetic. She didn't need to say it, but it was still soothing to hear. She said it every time they were together just the two of them. It was helping.</p><p>"It's okay, you know. To talk about it. You don't have to keep it all to yourself."</p><p>It became too much to look at her, her eyes piercing into him, seeking all his secrets. But then, she had the biggest ones, didn't she? What was there, that he had to hide anymore? As soon as this realisation set in Richie felt the urge to laugh, but it came out nervous so he cut it off.</p><p>"I just…"</p><p>Bev waited, drifting closer, her arms making lazy ripples as they cut through the water. She stayed quiet, giving him time. Eventually, he looked over at her once more.</p><p>"It's hard to talk about."</p><p>Bev smiled, patient as though it was the first time he'd given that answer, and in another stroke she was right there, bumping their shoulders together in a wet slap, water rushing up to hit their necks. He smiled and bumped her back just to watch her grin.</p><p>"Take your time." she told him, leaning her head back into the water, exposing the pale length of her throat to the sunlight, "You don't have to talk about it, but you can." she told the sky.</p><p>Richie felt that heavy pulse of love again, deep in his chest. The one only the Losers had ever evoked. The one Bev had made him feel every damn day since he'd spilled his guts on the floor of his room and she'd swept all the dark crawling gunk aside like it was nothing to hug him. He had to say it, the only way he had to show her how much she meant to him.</p><p>"I love you, Bev."</p><p>Her grin was instant, wide and happy as she blinked quarry water from her lashes and met his eye. He was getting good at saying it.</p><p>"I love you too." she answered, and he knew she meant it.</p><p>He blew out his breath, shaking the nerves away again and looking up at the gorgeous summer blue above them.</p><p>"Dunno what I'm gonna do about it." he said after a moment, "But I… it's… kinda nice, having someone I don't have to hide it from."</p><p>The words caught in his throat a little, but Bev gave no indication that she'd noticed. The air was warm and hazy around above the water, the cicadas buzzing faintly on the shore. Richie dropped onto his back, his arms spread like a starfish. Bev giggled and splashed, and then her fingers caught his. When he turned this cheek into the water to see her, she was floating beside him. Her eyes looked greener so close to the water. She'd only gotten prettier as they grew, and Richie teased her often about how gorgeous he predicted she'd be when they were adults.</p><p>"Did you always know?" he blurted, watching as she looked bemused, "When I… y'know. Say the shit I do, about you. When I'm joking."</p><p>Her face cleared again.</p><p>"Did I always know you were joking?"</p><p>"Yeah." he felt himself blush, feeling sheepish and a little silly.</p><p>"Yeah." she shrugged, smiling again, "I always knew. I <em>didn't</em> always know you aren't into girls, but I knew you were kidding about me."</p><p>"You're beautiful." he added, fast, worried that maybe he'd worded himself wrong and she might take it the wrong away.</p><p>Bev's face softened, and she squeezed his hand.</p><p>"I'm just not your type." she whispered.</p><p>It was a gentle jab, barely a tease, but Richie still felt his face flood with colour as the instant drop of panic yanked his lower belly. Bev didn't look disgusted, and he had to cling to that to stave off the panic. She looked at him with nothing but love in her eyes and Richie felt the urge to cry creeping up his eyeballs.</p><p>"No," he admitted, looking up at the sky, "but Eddie is."</p><p>It was barely a whisper, a frightened peep that he almost choked on. But once it cleared his tongue it felt <em>freeing</em>. It was a weird, scary feeling, equally invigorating and terrifying. It tasted sweet.</p><p>"Eddie is." he repeated, and his whole body bloomed with heat.</p><p>Bev made a happy noise in the back of her throat, and Richie laughed. He pulled her through the water so that she bobbed next to him, and they giggled together like they were little kids again.</p><p>"So you're saying that if I had brown hair, complained about bacteria, fixed your cuts and kicked you in the face more often, you'd like me more?"</p><p>Richie's laugh was startled and surprised at her boldness, and for several seconds he just choked in breaths and listened to her laughing. She was waiting. He could feel it between them, breathing, tugging, coaxing him. It was in his head, like a toad on a rock. Sitting. Waiting. Richie took a breath. It came out quiet, but it was stronger than last time.</p><p>"You'd have to be a guy, too."</p><p>She squeezed his hand so hard it hurt, and he knew he'd said what she wanted him to. They were still floating in the water when the yells came from high up on the quarry edge, and they turned their heads to watch their friends throw themselves off the cliff-like edge. They moved to meet them half-way, and they were almost there when Bev spoke again, under her breath and only for him.</p><p>"I'm not the only one you don't have to hide from, y'know," her eyes were serious and open when he shot her a startled glance, "if you don't want to."</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Eddie chuckled as they regaled him with an almost unbelievable story, washing the bite of dry bread down with water while Jed got control of his laughter. Bryar was smirking around his own glass as he watched the blonde finally calm down, and Eddie was reminded of Stan very suddenly, just with the particular way that the boy's lip curled. Subtle, not a smirk loudmouths like Richie had; gleeful and taunting and unable to hide. When Jed could finally take a breath without setting his giggles off again, he turned his warm blue eyes on Eddie.</p><p class="p1">"Whatta boutchu, Eddie? What's your best friend like?" he pulled a face, "What was his name? Ricky?"</p><p class="p1">Eddie snorted, picturing Richie doing something similar to the story they'd just told him about Lyle. He wouldn't put it past his friend, but though Richie enjoyed causing chaos with the Losers, he was <em>smart</em>. Lyle sounded like more of a dumbass. But not in a bad way.</p><p class="p1">"Richie. He's an asshole."</p><p class="p1">He gave a grin and shrugged one shoulder when the two boys huffed in surprise.</p><p class="p1">"The others are alright though."</p><p class="p1">"You gotta gang?" Bryar queried, as Jed laughed out a "Your best friend is an asshole?"</p><p class="p1">Eddie laughed with him, shaking his head.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah," he answered, feeling bold, the smile touching his lips, "and yupp, he's a dipshit."</p><p class="p1">Bryar turned shrewd eyes on him, and gave a half smile. It was jarring how much he reminded Eddie of Stan with his manner now that he'd noticed, while looking nothing like him at the same time.</p><p class="p1">"But he's your dipshit, right?"</p><p class="p1">Eddie looked away. He felt something in his stomach squirm at the way Bryar said it, shrugging again to cover it up. His gaze darted around to make sure there was nobody near enough who might think that- Well, or hear, you never knew. The thought of his mother being informed of some rumour passed around the camp made him feel uneasy, even if it was a touch paranoid. He swallowed and tried to cut off that worried train of thought.</p><p>"Yeah," he admitted, busying himself with opening his yoghurt to hide the fact that he felt he was chickening out of something, "he's our dipshit."</p><p>When he looked up again, the boys were looking at him with something unreadable in their eyes. Something he recognised, but couldn't place. It made his neck heat. He felt almost guilty, the way his mom made him feel when he was leaving the house and she fixed him with that piercing gaze like she could see he was lying about where he was going. He swallowed again.</p><p>"He thinks he's real funny," he added, shrugging again and giving a harsh laugh, "but his jokes are shit."</p><p>Jed laughed again and Eddie caught the glance he shot Bryar's way. It was a short flicker of a thing, telling of a close friendship. But it was secretive, something Eddie wasn't included in, and he felt like he'd seen something he shouldn't have. It felt a little like watching members of the Losers Club share glances. Ones that only the seven of them understood.</p><p>"Lyle is like that." Bryar chuckled, smiling at Eddie, "The absolute <em>worst</em> jokes. All the time. Never shuts up, does he?"</p><p>Jed's snicker was a clear answer. Eddie felt his tension ease again. Jed and Bryar were clearly good friends. The way they spoke and acted around each other reminded Eddie of his friends, of Bill and Stan and Mike trading glances that spoke words, of Ben's reassuring smiles and Bev's understanding eyes.</p><p>"Yeah," he answered quietly, offering a shy smile when Bryar looked at him again, "that sounds like Richie."</p><p>Jed drained his can of Coke and set it on his empty plate before pushing the faded yellow tray into the middle of the table. He rested his elbows on the table and grinned at Eddie.</p><p>"What else is he like?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Him," Jed laughed, "your Richie. What's he like, besides the bad jokes?"</p><p>While Eddie was caught off guard by the wording, Bryar made a curious sound too.</p><p>"And being an asshole."</p><p>Jed gave him a playful shove.</p><p>"<em>You're</em> an asshole."</p><p>Bryar rolled his eyes and gave another Stan-like quirk of his lips.</p><p>"Whatever, dude."</p><p>They shared a grin, and a homesick longing reared its head in Eddie's gut. He missed the sound of the Losers bickering like that, missed their laughs. It hadn't even been five whole days, but it felt like longer. He missed the easy jokes and how comfortable it always was with them. He felt on edge in this place. Surrounded by strangers, even when they were mostly okay.</p><p>God, he hated his mother for sticking him here when he should be spending his time in Derry with his best friends.</p><p>"Eddie?" the blonde prompted.</p><p>"He's… I dunno. That's his <em>thing</em>, you know?" he hedged, thinking of Richie's ability to make him feel better with nothing more than a worn joke and a grin, "Stupid jokes. He's the most immature for sure."</p><p>How did he word who Richie was, to strangers? He felt like every word he said was under scrutiny, giving away things about him that he wasn't even ready to admit to himself. He was getting kinda nervous, a tell-tale warmth blooming somewhere in his back and winding up his neck like a flower seeking the sun.</p><p>"Class clown?" Bryar hummed, and Eddie nodded.</p><p>Jed laughed again, raising his pale eyebrows at him. Eddie swallowed, words beginning to tumble out.</p><p>"He likes the arcade. He'd spend the whole summer playing Street Fighter if we didn't drag him out." their eyes felt like they were staring right inside him and Eddie started rambling, "He likes comic books and he's smart and he argues everything I say just for kicks. Stan too, Richie likes pissing him off, too. He'll do it until one of the other Losers steps in. Usually it'll be Mike, or Bill, Bill's kind of our leader. And Bev's super nice and stuff and she's like a group mom or something, but she could kick all our asses if she wanted to, and then-"</p><p>"Woah, okay, slow down," Bryar laughed, holding up his hands as Jed laughed brightly next to him, "I can't keep up."</p><p>"Sorry." Eddie clamped his mouth shut as he flushed with embarrassment, averting his gaze.</p><p>He'd just spilled his guts about all his friends to these guys who were practically strangers, and-</p><p>"It's cool," Jed said fast, leaning across the table again as if he was gonna touch Eddie's arm but stopped himself, "they sound really great! You're just going so fast, dude."</p><p>Eddie giggled nervously, fiddling with his watch as they grinned at him. He shifted awkwardly and looked back down at his plate, willing the building anxiety in his chest to dissolve enough for him to breathe properly.</p><p>"I uh, I get uh, like that. Sorry."</p><p>"Forget it." Jed dismissed easily, his eyes bright and welcoming when Eddie met them again.</p><p>He liked Jed. Jed was warm and sunny and friendly, even if he was almost kinda goofy-looking. He gave a toothy grin and Eddie felt like maybe it was stupid of him to be so anxious.</p><p>"You call your friends losers to their faces?" Bryar asked, half a smile on his lips and an eyebrow cocked teasingly.</p><p>Eddie smiled sheepishly.</p><p>"It's uh, it's kind of a long story. But we're basically, uhm, like outcasts?" he shifted a little again, trying not to think of the early days of the Losers Club, of the monster that meant they were pulled together, of the bullies who provided the name they christened themselves with.</p><p>"Okay," Jed said softly, understanding clouding his face, "that sucks. I'm sorry."</p><p>Eddie gave a weak shrug, but he tried to smile.</p><p>"It's not so bad. It <em>used</em> to really suck, but one summer we all sort of… came together, and it's kind of our thing now. We're… well, we're the Losers Club. Since we're all losers, in a way. At least, Derry thinks we are."</p><p>The two boys fell silent as Eddie picked at the remainder of his lunch, and he began to worry that maybe he'd blown his first real chance to make friends in this place. It had been kinda neat to not have to eat by himself all week. He realised he'd been hoping to continue making it a regular thing. Jed and Bryar were cool. Eddie thought he could really like them. Maybe even be real friends, not just out of convenience.</p><p>It was a weird sensation. Eddie had only ever befriended the Losers. People typically didn't pay him enough attention for him to loosen up enough to talk to them much, even if they weren't making fun of him. And with his mom keeping him him every chance she could get, it was doubly hard to find people who cared enough to bother with him. He felt very much out of his depth, sitting with the two boys who had been nice to him for no real reason, but it was also kind of… exciting. Like he was growing up. Like maybe life wasn't always gonna just be him and the Losers.</p><p>Guilt sank into him, then. A life with just the Losers would still be more than he'd hoped for as a kid.</p><p>"I think that's pretty cool." Jed said after a long moment, as if he'd decided something.</p><p>"Yeah." Bryar agreed simply, and Eddie smiled in relief as he finished his water.</p><p>"So this Bev can kick all your asses, huh?"</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What do you know, more Bev being a badass BFF.<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well maybe if you didn't throw your fucking shoes at me, I'd share."</p><p>Richie whined theatrically in return and pouted at her, making his eyes as big and round as he could. It worked sometimes, though Bev could be the worst, hardly having to try at ignoring him. (Besides maybe Eddie, though winning Eddie over was usually just a matter of arguing and yelling and then sneaking up close after.)</p><p>She rolled her eyes in amusement, and the look in her eye was downright wicked.</p><p>"Trade me, then." she said</p><p>Richie huffed a sigh and glanced around the Clubhouse. They'd both been early, something that was happening a lot right now. Richie often <em>was</em> the earliest, particularly in summer, because his parents thought being outside all days as good for him and encouraged him to maintain friendships. Bev was arriving earlier and earlier lately, but even if the others knew, nobody needed to ask why. Least of all Richie, who'd seen the bruise on her arm last week.</p><p>He swore that when he was a real grown up, when he was big and broad and not quite so gangly, he was gonna beat the shit out of Alvin Marsh. See how he liked it.</p><p>"Well?"</p><p>He huffed again and pouted at her when he turned back to her.</p><p>"You already got the last of my candy yesterday." he answered truthfully, even if she knew he wasn't as put out as he sounded about it.</p><p>"And <em>you</em> got my last smoke. Keene's gonna start noticing if I nick more than one a week, Rich."</p><p>Richie grimaced, feeling guilty even though she didn't really want him to. Mr Keene was a sleaze, and Richie hated him for multiple reasons. He deserved to have two packets of cigarettes stolen every week. Beverly just snickered at his expression and toyed smugly with the new cardboard packet, the red lettering still glossy and the creamy surface yet uncreased. Her smile curled playfully around her lips.</p><p>He narrowed his eyes at her, but she only laughed again.</p><p>"Your wasting your ti-<em>ime</em>." she sing-songed, practically glowing when he flopped back in the dirt and gave up.</p><p>"What d'you want, Marsh?" he grumbled through a deep sigh, watching the dust motes flutter down from the ceiling.</p><p>"Hmmm." she hummed thoughtfully, tapping her chin and pulling a face.</p><p>His unimpressed expression only earned a grin, before she was opening the little box and drawing out a long white cigarette, and holding it out between them. He resisted the urge to take one, waiting while she drew her lighter, before taking it from her hand to flick it for her. She giggled, and let him light it. The breath of hazy white smoke drifted up towards the open hatch even though Eddie wouldn't be back for another week.</p><p>The thought of Eddie made him sigh, a real one that time, embarrassingly heartfelt, and Bev's eyebrows quirked down when she looked at him again. He shook his head, but the warmth in his face was probably betraying him, because Bev's smirk softened and she took another drag before she said anything else.</p><p>"Trade me a secret." she said then, her eyes watching him with such understanding that he had to look just to the left of her when he answered.</p><p>"What kind?"</p><p>A useless question, really, he knew what she wanted. He knew what she was saying. If he was firm and put his foot down and shook his head she'd give him one anyway, probably. But the thing was, talking with Bev about Eddie was <em>helping</em>. He didn't believe it, at first, and he still danced around saying things outright if he could get away with it. She didn't push, not really. She teased, sure. But she was Bev. She was gentle about it, and he knew it was a secret safe with her.</p><p>"Whatever you like." she murmured, blowing more smoke towards the square of summer sky.</p><p>She looked beautiful, like that. Richie told her as much. That was getting easier too. He'd have to watch out. This honesty thing was a tricky business, you said one thing and it led to another and then you were exposing all your secrets in puddles on the dirt floor of your hideout and calling a girl pretty enough times that she might start to think you <em>liked</em> her, for fuck's sake.</p><p>Her face did that thing, though, and Richie was coming to realise he really kind of liked being the one to make it happen. It was like she went soft, her eyes taking on a delicate kind of shine that Richie knew instinctively never to point out, despite his big mouth. If it didn't sound so damn sappy, he'd say that he loved her more than he ever had, and he knew their friendship had been forever changed by his secret.</p><p>He smiled at the realisation that he'd always just assumed such a change would ruin things, but it had only brought Bev and him closer together. And fuck him, but the emotion in his chest made him roll his eyes as he finally reached for the offered packet, drawing out his own smoke and letting her click the lighter for him with a grin.</p><p>"You know that summer," he started, blowing his first drag up towards the hatch and rolling the lit cigarette through his fingers, watching the initial glow dying down, "that first day, when you helped out at the pharmacy."</p><p>Of course she knew, he didn't really need an answer, but she made the sound anyway.</p><p>"Well," he faltered, looking for the right order for his words, "you know how when you came over, and Ben was..."</p><p>"Ben was bleeding." she agreed softly, her eyes flittering to the corner where Ben sat most often, nearest the little radio.</p><p>Richie followed the gaze.</p><p>"Yeah. And Eddie was patching him up. And you didn't… You didn't freak out."</p><p>He took a long drag, watching their matching plumes rise sedately toward the early morning sky, the memory vivid in his mind even while so many from that summer had blurred and faded as if by some magic, to help him forget.</p><p>"You coulda," he added, finally looking her in the eye again, "you coulda, but you didn't."</p><p>She was thinking of it too, her eyes seeming a shade darker as she did.</p><p>"I… knew I didn't need to." she said finally, like a puzzle piece was falling into place, and he knew she probably knew what he was saying.</p><p>"You knew he knew what he was doing."</p><p>Bev nodded, seeming dazed for a second before falling ash brought her back to herself and she tapped it onto the floor by her foot.</p><p>"I didn't even know Eddie." she murmured, "I knew his face from around school but I'd never… I don't think I even knew his name."</p><p>"Yeah. But you knew that Ben was probably getting the same care the hospital would give him, right?"</p><p>He knew it wasn't just him that felt it. They'd all felt things, that summer. A sense of rightness together, the forces beyond what they could really see or understand. An understanding, and an easy trust that should have been anything <em>but</em> easy, to kids like them. Beverly smiled suddenly, taking another drag before she elaborated on it.</p><p>"He said, in the store, to me. He said 'Some kid outside lookin' like somebody killed him.' He didn't even <em>know</em> Ben, either."</p><p>Richie's lips pulled into a smile and his chest flushed with a gentle sweetness. Eddie was good people. Richie had known it all his life, but it was neat when other people saw it too.</p><p>"He's always made feel like that." he admitted, his eyes shying away from her and his shoulders rising in a shallow shrug.</p><p>For a moment she watched him twisting the white cylinder slowly between his thumb and middle finger, and he knew he was unable to fully swallow the lovesick smile he could feel on his face. He forced a nervous laugh eventually, releasing a much larger breath of smoke through a whistle to break the moment. Bev gave a small snort.</p><p>It was weird, suppressing the urge to blow the emotion off with a crude joke, and he wasn't sure he'd ever get used to the vulnerable crawl of discomfort on his skin at it, but it was a tiny bit easier every time, and that was what kept his mouth moving.</p><p>"Ever since we were little. Kinda like how when Bill took charge, we all just knew it was right. Eddie always… always makes me feel like… like…" it stuck in his throat and he blew his fringe out of his eyes, reaching up to adjust the thick frame of his glasses, struggling to give the emotion a word.</p><p>"Safe." Bev whispered, and her eyes were full of it when he met them, that deep knowledge of all the things she never said.</p><p>"Yeah." he agreed, taking another slow breath of smoke and watching it drift toward the sky, "Like he'll always be able to take care of whatever's wrong."</p><p>The emotion was raw in his voice, probably because instead of thinking about Ben sitting so patiently and quietly in that alleyway while Eddie patched up one of the worst things any of them had actually ever <em>seen</em> Bowers do to someone yet, - outside of rumours - he was thinking about blood being rinsed away in Barrens water and the blurry image of Eddie's fingers holding a needle real close to his eye. Bev didn't say anything about the way his voice wavered, and he didn't look at her. His fingers only shook a little when he brought the cigarette to his lips once again.</p><p>"He better be a doctor, when we're older."</p><p>She said it softly after the long moment of quiet, when their cigarettes were burned right down to almost stubs and they were both savouring the last drag before admitting that it was over. When Richie didn't answer she looked over at him, and smiled. His exasperated huff just came out kind of shyly when he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, but he was pretty content.</p><p>"He better still be <em>my</em> doctor when we're older." he joked before he thought about it, and felt the blush burn on his face.</p><p>But Beverly's laugh was tinkling and amused, and she was grinning when she crushed the butt of her cigarette beneath her boot before scooping it up to flick it into the little tin wastebasket in the corner.</p><p>"A worthy trade, Tozier." she said to him, and he was glad he'd told her.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>CRACK!</em>
</p><p>"RUN!"</p><p>"Go, Kaspbrak!"</p><p>"Go, go, GO!"</p><p>Eddie darted off like a shot, finding a rhythm easily. David had longer legs and hared after the ball instantly, but Eddie had hit it with a satisfyingly solid <em>whack</em>, and it soared way off to the right while he set his sights on the first hoop. His mom would be <em>pissed</em> if she knew they'd made him do sports, but Eddie felt the ground rising every time his feet connected, and the adrenaline was glorious. Every pace landed just right, and he felt like he was flying.</p><p>His team were yelling his name, trying to drown out the other team, but Eddie let the noise wash over him as he blew past the first plastic hoop on the ground, scratched and blue, and fixed his eye on the second. He didn't even consider stopping, feet pounding into the dry dirt as he entered and left the faded red in a single step. The yellow one was further, and then the sharp right would carry him back home to green if he had time.</p><p>A holler came. Halfway to yellow, Eddie pushed himself a little further. The air whipped past him as though reaching with spindly fingers to tug him back, wanting him to slow, trying to make his skin shiver with caution and doubt about how hard he'd hit the ground if he fell. Like his <em>mom</em>. A single note of laughter left his mouth with his next breath and he ignored the thought. His breath was steady and controlled, the hard kind of almost-pain that came with running. He let it fill him to his toes and ignored the sight of David coming back into view.</p><p><em>He's ages away.</em> the voice came confidently, <em>He's never gonna make it.</em></p><p>Eddie raced, the sound of the boys rising, some shrilly as their voices broke. Michael was a squeaky cheer at the top of his lungs, making Eddie grin. He didn't stop. The ball flew past him. He didn't need to break his concentration and look to know it had been hurled to Peter who was closest, but his feet had already escaped the clutches of the chipped yellow hoop and left deep grooves in the dirt where he threw his weight into the turn. Panicked scrabbling sounded behind him while Peter yelped and the wide-eyed boy waiting at the green hoop to put Eddie out waved his arms wildly for the ball.</p><p>"<em>THROW</em> IT!"</p><p>It soared over Eddie's head in a white blur. He could almost <em>feel</em> the shadow of it on his skin as it passed above him. His team were screaming, his lungs were pounding, his pulse was rushing in his ears, his trainers were hitting the ground hard enough to jar his ankles. Several feet of sun-cracked dirt and tufts of scraggy, dead grass lay between him and the home hoop, the seven other boys from his cabin all lined behind it, their eyes wide as their mouths as they hollered and cheered for him.</p><p>And the boy <em>missed the catch</em>, sending himself backwards, losing his balance in his haste and launching himself forward to chase it.</p><p>Eddie blew into the plastic hoop only seconds before the ball was launched back with startling accuracy, leaving a dent in the ground right in front of Eddie's toes. He had enough time to watch the other boy's face fall before he was tackled to the ground by several bodies, too many voices whooping triumphantly in his ears for him to do anything but hit the dirt and laugh breathlessly.</p><p>Getting to his feet was a task, with all the bodies crowding him, hands slamming into his back and people yelling gleefully at him too loudly to decipher. He heaved in air, his ribs aching faintly from exertion, but he was pretty pleased with the burn of it, the success of it. Asthma smathsma, as Richie would say to him sometimes, way back when he was really struggling to ease up the crippling dependancy on his inhaler.</p><p>He reached for it now, safely in his pocket like it had been these three weeks, more for habit than anything else. Psychosomatic, sure, but hey if he could trick his brain into believing he wasn't so out of breath then score. A long, skinny arm dropped around his shoulders and tugged him off-balance as the crowd of boys dissipated enough for him to grin around at them.</p><p>"You, my speedy little friend, just won us the fucking game!"</p><p>The voice in his ear was too loud with excitement as was drowned out by another round of cheering, the arm shaking him as his friend bounced on his toes. Eddie squinted up at him with a laugh. The blonde's hair was tousled with wind and hands, eyes lit by the sun like the sky reflecting in the lake-water. Eddie shoved him off playfully, and Jed rocked back on his heels with a joyful chuckle.</p><p>"You ran like the <em>wind</em>." came the awed voice of the youngest boy in their cabin.</p><p>Michael was only barely thirteen and much shorter than the others, only an inch or two shorter than him, and his dark eyes sparkled when he grinned at Eddie. He was tan and lithe but kind of weedy, and his runs had been poor by comparison, but his endless enthusiasm was the kind that was catching. Eddie was feeling invincible and bold, and he bumped their shoulders together in reply.</p><p>"No doing dishes for us tonight!" he laughed, and Michael's grin was white and toothy.</p><p>"No sirree!" he chirped back gleefully, and the others took turns ruffling his hair while they all laughed and headed to help the other team collect hoops and water bottles.</p><p>They were lectured repeatedly in the first few days about their cabin being their small <em>family</em> within the 'bigger family' of the camp, and reminded of it at every morning grace since. It hadn't taken Eddie long to realise that the reason for that was group responsibility. They succeeded or failed together. When one boy (thankfully from another cabin) was caught talking in the church hall during prayer on the third day, his whole cabin was put on dish-duty for an entire week. That was three times a day, every plate, cup, and piece of cutlery from every boy in all six cabins, and all the staff. They missed rec time for it, and one of their after-lunch kayak lessons on the lake, something Eddie had come to savour in the blistering afternoon heat when his cabin was assigned.</p><p>The sharp-faced woman Ms. McKee hauled him right up front, red-faced with shame at being made the centre of attention while the Reverend had to stop his whole sermon to stare at him in disappointment. Eddie had balked, shrinking in his seat and filled with utter dread at the idea of being dragged up there in front of everyone to be punished. When Eddie saw the kid next he was quiet and downcast-looking, and he had a bright purple bruise under one eye.</p><p>They got a rather pointed lecture about physical violence that morning and even if nobody said it, everyone knew why. Eddie thought bitterly that it only meant that the bullies would be smarter, like Connor Bowers usually was, leaving the bruises in places that weren't always visible. Hitting you in the face where you couldn't cover it up was a message, Eddie and the Losers had learned that years ago in Derry.</p><p>On the brighter side of things, Eddie took solace in the fact that he seemed to have struck lucky with <em>his</em> cabin. The seven boys in that wooden hut with him seemed a different sort. He wasn't close with all of them, but they'd quickly found out that if they worked together, it made the time they were stuck there pass easier. Jed and Bryar showed Eddie that in only the first few days, their actions out by that deserted part of the fence a clear message to Tyler to back off, and so he'd set out to make sure that if a situation arose, he could do the same.</p><p>Michael, being the youngest, was almost like a mascot of sorts now. The first few days, Eddie heard him crying at night, the little boy's misery echoing his own, and after the kindness he'd been shown by two boys who were perfect strangers, Eddie walked beside him to the sermon the next morning, and gave him the little pack of cookies from his lunch. The hesitant, hopeful, awed kind of look he gave Eddie made his heart pang, for it dredged up an old memory of his best friend Bill's living room, when he and Eddie had helped Georgie build a model airplane even after he'd had a tantrum.</p><p>By the time the kid opened up, the eight boys were by far the most peaceable cabin, and Eddie was glad for that. They shook hands like good sports with the members of the other cabin once they were ready to head back to the cabins and when it was his turn, David gave Eddie a rueful grin with an appreciative look on his face.</p><p>"You run alright for a kid with asthma." he said, and Eddie was flushed with pride for the rest of the day.</p><p>Their cool-down was a half-lap they took at a gentle jog, and Eddie enjoyed the relaxing pace between Bryar and Jed, the eight of his team trading playful insults with the boys from the other cabin whenever one group overtook the other. Their laughter was warm in the late afternoon sunshine and Eddie knew his skin would have a glow the next day from too much exposure, but it was kinda pleasant.</p><p>In all, camp was turning out to be not so bad most days. Eddie still missed home, and in a week he'd be home with his Losers where he belonged, but he no longer felt so horribly trapped in the meantime. The sermons sucked, and he was tired of hearing the word 'homosexual' to the point where it had started to not even feel like a real word, but once those boring hours seated in the hard wooden pews were over, they spent a good deal of the rest of the time outside.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This Chapter took on a little bit of a life of its own, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.<br/>I love the Losers Club way too much, and I just *know* they'd be supportive of Richie.&lt;3</p><p>As always, you guys rock! I hope you're enjoying this journey with me, and I'd love to hear any thoughts you're having!<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"And then <em>he</em> said that if-"</p><p>Richie wasn't terribly distracted by the song changing on the radio, but his stomach lurched as the familiar chord floated out from the small device and registered in his ears.</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, my love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you so-</em>
</p><p>His eyes betrayed him, darting anxiously to Beverly only to find her already looking at him, her lips parted as though she were about to speak and had stopped herself. Suddenly Richie's heart was beating faster.</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, my love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you so</em>
</p><p>He blinked a couple times at her, reaching up to adjust his glasses as the sensation rushed his body. He felt exposed, he felt caught off guard, he-</p><p>
  <em>Eddie my love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you so</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How I've wanted for you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You'll never know</em>
</p><p>God, this stupid song, getting to him <em>again</em>, like it was in his head, his throat tickling as he tried desperately to squash the urge to clear it for fear it'd bring everyone's attention bearing down on him. He swallowed hard. Maybe Ben would change the station or something.</p><p>
  <em>Please, Eddie,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don't make me wait too long</em>
</p><p>Every word, every note, was already burned in his brain and he felt the wriggle of shame in his belly like always. But then Bev was moving her head, real slow to one side, and then the other, her eyes trapping his, and fuck him, but it made him feel a whole lot better.</p><p>
  <em>Oh Eddie, Eddie,</em>
</p><p>That did it, the conversation falling away as the other Losers recognised the song, or maybe it was just his name that caught their attention, all faces turning towards the little radio on the desk.</p><p>
  <em>I love you so</em>
</p><p>Richie turned too, seeing Ben right there, closest to the sound, his expression something soft and surprised. It felt like nobody breathed. Richie wondered hysterically if maybe they all could feel that longing in their chests too. Selfishly, he hoped not. He… Eddie was special to him.</p><p>
  <em>Eddie please write,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>just one line</em>
</p><p>Every word, every line… Like it had been written <em>for him</em> and <em>God</em>, that was the sappiest fucking girly shit, what the fuck was wrong with him, it wasn't like Eddie had been gone for all that long, and-</p><p>
  <em>Tell me your love is</em>
</p><p>
  <em>still only mine</em>
</p><p>He didn't want to think about it, he wished Ben would put it off, wished he wasn't frozen here on the hammock all by himself thinking about how awful it would be if Eddie came home <em>different</em>, if he came home and things were weird between them, or he didn't- didn't want to still be-</p><p>Stupid, irrational, <em>ridiculous</em>, Bev had said when he voiced the same fear yesterday, but that's the thing about fear, isn't it? Logic can tell you how much of a dumbs you're being, but the feeling doesn't just go away.</p><p>
  <em>Please, Eddie,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>don't make me wait too long</em>
</p><p>His eyes found her again and she gave him a delicate half-smile of reassurance, and his eyes burned when he looked away again like a coward. It was too much like she was peering into his soul again in that <em>Beverly Marsh</em> way of hers. Making him feel naked, like the others might see too.</p><p>
  <em>You left me last September</em>
</p><p>Still nobody said anything, not even birds could be heard in the trees while the song played on, simple and pretty and devastating Richie's ability to think properly. It was stupid as shit, to panic over a fucking <em>song</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Since that time I've been so alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now all I do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is wish and wait, for you</em>
</p><p>Shut up. Fucking turn it off already, somebody, anybody-</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, since you've been gone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eddie, my love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm sinking fast</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The very next day,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>might be my last.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please Eddie,</em>
</p><p>He closed his eyes against the rest of it, willing the thumping in his chest to calm the fuck down and realise he hadn't even done anything to warrant the trembling adrenaline bumping around in his veins. He lay in the sound, almost able to convince himself he was alone, it was so quiet. At the same time, he kind of feared the end. Maybe he should've expected the song to play on the radio in the Clubhouse, he sure as shit wished he didn't feel so caught.</p><p>He'd kept this secret for <em>years</em>. They weren't going to suddenly be able to read it on his face <em>now</em>, when they'd never been able to before. Right?</p><p>Bev did. Well, shit. He peeked at her from under his eyelids as the last few lines grew quiet, scared to move in case it drew attention. Bev watched him as it ended, and the after-song hush fell. Suddenly, the insects were buzzing again, like they'd been paused with the birds while the Chordettes were exposing Richie's every thought to all his friends.</p><p>Bev drew a cigarette from the pack in her pocket and struck her lighter, turning her head to blow the smoke towards the hatch. And then a new song started. Bill cleared his throat, and Mike picked up where he'd left off, finishing his sentence as though he hadn't been interrupted, or that they hadn't all just sat in silence for the length of the song.</p><p>Richie flushed, feeling silly as the tight fear eased its grip on him. Maybe he was going fucking crazy. Eddie needed to come back, dude. He was losing his fucking mind.</p><p>"Bum me a light?" he said, sounding maybe just a little too bright even to himself as he sat upright.</p><p>Bev rolled her eyes and made an unhappy noise, but she tugged the pack from her pocket. She didn't throw it to him, despite his waiting hands, and he grumbled theatrically as he made a big deal out of getting up and crossing the hideout to take one, dropping on his butt under the hatch beside her crate, the rungs of the ladder digging into his shoulder blades.</p><p>By the time his cigarette was nearly half-way done he was feeling calmer, and even the embarrassed heat in his neck was fading. He rested his head against the ladder and stared up at the perfect blue of the sky, letting his mind wander while the others talked. Until, of course, someone had to spoil it.</p><p>"Hey Rich?"</p><p>"Mh?" he didn't move, taking another drag and letting it curl upwards from him, blurring the air.</p><p>"Why'd you hate that song?"</p><p>Richie choked on the inhale even though it wasn't even <em>smoke</em>, and everybody snickered at him. Fucking Stan. Asshole. He dropped his head, torn between glaring and trying for a good, trusty bemusement, but Stanley's eyes were clear and sharp when he met them, and his face flushed with fresh heat before he could even pull together a lie.</p><p>"Which song? I hate a lotta songs, Stanny boy."</p><p>A bare-faced lie it was, then. Nobody was gonna believe <em>that.</em> Richie was a self-proclaimed music lover, more eclectic and eccentric about it than the rest combined. It was unusual for him not to even <em>slightly</em> enjoy a song. Stan's snort, of course, cut through the lie like it was, well, smoke. He cocked one perfect eyebrow and even though it wasn't even really there, Richie could practically see the tiny curl of smirk at the corner of his lips.</p><p>This wasn't the <em>deal</em>.</p><p>"The one about Eddie?" Mike guessed, before it passed over his face that maybe he shouldn't have said it.</p><p>"Th-the C-c-c- <em>shoot</em>, the Chor-or-<em>dette's</em> one?"</p><p>Richie said nothing. Bless Bill and his moments of utter obliviousness, but also curse them <em>all</em> for not leaving this the fuck alone. He fought the urge to glance at Bev, so very aware of her beside and above him, because he knew Stan would catch the look. The beat of silence dragged uncomfortably and a tiny part of Richie wondered how successful he'd be if he just stood up and climbed out of the hatch.</p><p>Would they follow him? Chase him? How far, all the way home?</p><p>A much larger part knew, of course, that he couldn't run from this forever. Damn Bev and her understanding.</p><p>"It's a nice song." Ben offered quietly, looking between them all with an almost anxious hopefulness, and suddenly Richie felt very tired and very fond of him all at once.</p><p>So, curse them all but Ben. And Bev, really, because he was used to her knowing, or nearly was. He stalled, hiding the shake in his fingers as he raised it to his mouth for another drag, mind racing and tripping through the tangled weeds of what the fuck he was supposed to say.</p><p>He wasn't prepared for this. He wasn't <em>ready</em> yet. They had to give him more time, this wasn't fucking fair.</p><p>"Rich?"</p><p>He looked at her then, her eyes soft and concerned, her lip caught under her teeth as her eyes flickered over his face. He didn't need to hear the question out loud. It was like it was beamed right into his head, anyway.</p><p>"I…"</p><p>She twisted her mouth one way and then the other, brow dipping in an aborted frown, before she offered her free hand between them, palm up and fingers loose, and Richie felt kind of like she'd just defeated him in something even as he reached for it pathetically, letting her lace their fingers and squeeze. The dirt at his feet, when he dropped his gaze, parted easily under the toe of one shoe.</p><p>Nobody said anything, and the longer he kept his mouth shut along with them, the tighter Bev seemed to squeeze. He stubbed out the half-done cigarette against the floor, feeling suddenly light-headed.</p><p>"Don't hate the song." he started, because he didn't know where else too, and Bev was the only one to make any kind of acknowledgement; a tiny, gentle hum.</p><p>He shrugged and scuffed the floor again, holding tight to her hand like a lifeline incase he really did float away like he felt he might. What was he supposed to say? Where was he supposed to even start, how was he meant to explain what hid in the shadowy part of his chest, the thing about himself that terrified him most?</p><p>What if they didn't understand him? What if Bev was the only one who would still think he was worth sticking around with? What if this was the day he lost all the friends he had, and all in one go? He couldn't bear looking at that one directly, the mere anticipation of pain horrible enough.</p><p>"It <em>is</em> a nice song." Beverly eventually whispered, and even though he couldn't make himself look up, he knew she was giving him the same look she had since she worked it out.</p><p>He squeezed her hand, unable to word his appreciation as her support tried to soothe the skittish cat that felt like it was prowling around inside his ribcage, swiping at his lungs. <em>You're nice</em>, she was telling him, <em>What you're feeling is a good thing</em>. His eyes pricked with the threat of tears when he cleared his throat in one weak cough.</p><p>"I…" he balked, reaching for his glasses as though the cracked black frames would tell him what he was supposed to say.</p><p>"Hey Rich?"</p><p>He braved a glance at her, overwhelmed by the look on her face, swallowing down the rising lump in his throat. She smiled.</p><p>"We love you."</p><p>He closed his eyes.</p><p>"It's true." Stan's voice was rare and heartfelt, his wryness missing, and maybe that was what really helped, even as the others chorused their agreement.</p><p>"I'm gay." he forced out, one huge blurt of awful black ooze clearing his tongue in a panicked fumble.</p><p>Bev's hand was squeezing so tight she was probably cutting off his circulation, but Richie had lost the ability to open his eyes to check. His ears might not even be working properly, really, because he could hear a freaking <em>waterfall</em>, rushing hard and fast against his eardrums. But by some chance, he <em>did</em> still hear them as their words were suddenly all there at once, tripping over each other.</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"O-okay."</p><p>"We still love you."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Richie's eyes opened on their own, finding Stanley Uris like startled lightning, his mouth dropping open uselessly. Stanley was looking at him very seriously, not old-man, grow-up serious or calm-the-fuck-down serious, or Richie-this-is-important serious, but in the same serious manner with which he'd once told Richie how afraid he was at not knowing if he could fight again if It came back.</p><p>"Since when?"</p><p>If we weren't so stunned by his friend's admission, he might have cringed at how badly his voice cracked. Stanley shrugged, the picture of casual, but his eyes never left Richie's.</p><p>"I don't know," the boy admitted, "since forever."</p><p>Richie was struck quite childishly with the compulsion to pout and cross his arms, and he frowned at him as the faintly smug smile started to lift the corner of Stan's mouth. The others looked just as surprised, staring at the pair of them, and Richie blew out his breath.</p><p>Might as well jump the whole way, right?</p><p>"Did you know it was Eddie?"</p><p>His throat closed up at the end of his name, and his eyes were <em>really</em> watering now, he was for sure gonna cry. Stanley laughed at the exclamations of the other boys, and gave Richie a wide, teasing grin.</p><p>"What, you thought you were subtle?"</p><p>"Hey fuck you, dude." he snapped back instantly, and Stan's eyes just lit with that familiar light.</p><p>Richie couldn't even grudge him it, or even pretend to like he usually might, because relief was flooding him with a fluid, giddy kind of buoyancy, and Beverly was giggling.</p><p>"I told you," she said primly when the noise died down a little, and her eyes were bright and gentle despite the shit-eating grin on her lips, "nobody cares you're gay."</p><p>"W-wait you kn-knew?"</p><p>Richie couldn't stop the giggle that slipped out. Bill just sounded so <em>scandalised</em>, his wide eyes flying between Ben and Mike, who held their hands up in amusement as though to convince him it was news to them too. The laugher was hysterical almost, gleeful and ridiculous and overwhelming, and at some point the tears did slide from his eyes and roll down his cheeks to make pock-marks in the dirt while his friends bickered melodramatically about whether they'd known or not.</p><p>"I love you guys." he said when he could draw enough of a breath without dissolving into giggles again, even if it made his face burn stupidly.</p><p>They chorused it back instantly, four pairs of earnest eyes and Stanley's, which rolled to the ceiling in a clear message of <em>God, you're stupid, duh I love you</em>.</p><p>"Four days." Ben said eventually, when everyone had settled down again and they were dealing cards to play poker, and his smile was soft and kind when Richie looked over.</p><p>"Yeah," he agreed, feeling the blush on his face and the dumb grin on his face, and taking Mike's playful elbow graciously, "it feels like <em>forever</em>."</p><p>They teased him mercilessly for the rest of the day of course, but with the high he was on, he couldn't find the ability to care. It was dumb and they were <em>never</em> gonna let it go and he'd just signed up for more Uris smugness than any sane person would, but they didn't sneer at him, and they didn't call him disgusting, and they didn't run away or refuse to touch him or anything that he'd so feared.</p><p>They'd told him they loved him, and he believed them wholeheartedly. Maybe everything really <em>was</em> going to be okay like Bev had been telling him and he'd been trying not to hope too much for. Richie made ridiculous bluffs and did all the Voices he could think of and cheated shamelessly whenever he got the chance, and nothing had changed.</p><p>He'd dropped his <em>biggest</em> secret on them and they'd rolled their eyes and argued playfully over who was the least surprised, and Richie's heart felt so full of love for them it <em>hurt</em>. And he was happy.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Our boys are soon to be reunited!<br/>Some Angst is on the horizon, but expect a healthy dose of fluff to accompany it.</p><p>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Excited to get back to Derry?"</p><p>Eddie snorted in reply, dutifully finishing the t-shirt he was folding before he looked up. Bryar had settled on the bottom of Eddie's bed and leaned on one elbow, flicking open a comic book lying on top of the sheet. If the councillors caught him with that, they'd both be in trouble. Eddie wasn't sure where Bryar had kept it hidden for the month, and he hadn't asked. If he didn't know, he couldn't be guilty of helping him hide it, or at least that's what he told himself.</p><p>The sunlight coming in the high windows danced across Bryar's hair and lit it warm auburn, reminding Eddie for the millionth time of Bev's fierce red hair. An excited, longing pang in his heart made it hard not to smile. This time tomorrow, he'd be nearly home. Bryar returned the expression when he looked up, and Eddie felt himself blushing just a little.</p><p>"That a yes?"</p><p>Eddie laughed and carefully tucked the folded clothing in his suitcase, reaching for the next piece.</p><p>"Derry's the worst," he said wryly, "but…"</p><p>"You're allowed to say you're glad to be rid of us, y'know." his friend said, smile flickering across his face when Eddie met his eye, "We wouldn't take it personal."</p><p>His expression was open and friendly, amusement tightening the skin around his greeny-brown eyes. Eddie still felt the twinge of guilt all the same, at how he'd hurt them two weeks ago, but they'd been quick to forgive him. He was grateful to still have had friends afterwards, and it was kind of cool that they trusted him with a secret so heavy and important, and dangerous.</p><p>"It's not that." Eddie said hurriedly, shaking his head, "It's just that-"</p><p>"I know." Bryar chuckled, "Hey, I was teasing you, Ed."</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes and closed his mouth, his face feeling a little bit warm at the easy nickname. He'd protested good-naturedly when they messed with his name, (he had, after all, a reputation to uphold, not that they knew that,) but they'd paid very little heed. The only moment really where Eddie's refutal had carried any weight was one of the times that Tyler hassled him again, and told him he was like a little teddy bear.</p><p>The moronic older boy dropping the T had made Eddie feel sick, and he'd done his best to convince his new friends not to use the name without being able to admit why. Compared to <em>that</em>, Ed and Eddo were ones he could survive. Even if, in truth, Bryar calling him Ed just made him miss Richie and <em>his</em> stupid nicknames.</p><p>They'd asked a lot about Richie, since they said he sounded real important to Eddie. They'd asked about the others, too. At first it was embarrassing and made him nervous and uncomfortable. But as he rolled his eyes and shot the brunette a half-hearted glare for laughing at him, Eddie could admit he was glad he'd let them get to know him. Even if doing so had been strange and kind of scary, and unveiled potential truths that he hadn't realised existed. Or allowed himself to consider.</p><p>He was going to miss them, too. Four weeks was only half a summer, but Eddie was sure he could be real good friends with them if given the chance. Sure, never as close as he was with the Losers, but nobody would ever get as close to him as the Losers Club, he knew that. He'd still enjoyed some parts of the last four weeks, a bizarre and discomforting kind of truth that he felt sick admitting even to himself. His time here was supposed to feel like a punishment.</p><p>And parts of it had been, they <em>had</em>. Sharing a bathroom with seven other people, sleeping in a room full of strangers, sitting through guilt-tripping, damning sermons about how his soul was gonna be tainted if he wasn't careful, and how some people were destined for Hell just because of who they loved. And then there were the weird foods, and washing like a million dishes when they weren't able to win or work their way out of the task.</p><p>But other parts had been unexpectedly neat, and some of the kids were actually alright. Eddie was even gonna miss Michael, with his dopey little-kid face and eagerness to please them and his optimism that reminded Eddie of his own past summers.</p><p>In truth, Eddie felt secretly kind of guilty that he didn't feel as ashamed and chastised as his mother assuredly wanted him to, even though he <em>knew</em> that was fucked up. He was supposed to be getting closer to God here, and he'd failed that pretty spectacularly, and that made him feel uneasy and vaguely like he needed a shower if he thought about it too hard. Instead, he was going to miss the new friends he'd made, and that kind of sucked.</p><p>"You'll still write though, right?"</p><p>He cringed at the weedy sound of his voice and turned his gaze resolutely on the last few things he had to pack, but Bryar didn't seem to mind. He flicked lazily through the comic book and hummed the affirmative.</p><p>"'Course. You're still gonna meet us in Bangor sometime, ain't you?"</p><p>"Yeah," Eddie grinned, "wouldn't miss it."</p><p>Bryar made a pleasant sound almost like a laugh that made Eddie think of Ben. He missed Ben. God, the next few hours were gonna be torture, all he could think about were his friends. He couldn't wait to get home. His heart squeezed.</p><p>He packed away the last of his stuff, leaving out his pyjamas and his clothes for the next day, his inhaler, toothbrush, toothpaste and comb lined neatly on the rickety little bedside table. He'd already emptied the drawer but checked again anyway, soothing the anxiousness in his belly. Tucked safely into the breast pocket of the first shirt he'd packed was a ragged scrap of yellow construction paper, pocketed in the Hall two days ago by Bryar while Jed was busy accidentally knocking over the pots of PVA glue they'd been given to craft their paper arks.</p><p>In a neat scribble, it held two unfamiliar addresses and phone numbers. Every time Eddie thought of it, it made him kinda giddy.</p><p>"Promise you'll bring your Losers?"</p><p>Eddie laughed, tugging the suitcase down to push it back under the bed. One more night in it. One more night of restless sleep because of the sounds of seven other people, and he'd be home in his own bed. True, that bed was in the house he hated, living with the woman he hated, in the <em>town</em> he hated, but it was home and he'd get a proper night's sleep for the first time in weeks. He shot Bryar a wry look.</p><p>"Promise."</p><p>Bryar ruffled Eddie's hair with a grin, unperturbed by the half-hearted swatting he got in return. He slid his comic under his own pillow as they passed his bed on their way out of the cabin. It was almost time for dinner, but the brief window of rec time they'd been given had been a pleasant reprieve. The sun had been particularly fierce the last few days, and their kayak lesson that afternoon hadn't afforded them as long in the cool lake water as Eddie would have liked.</p><p>He and Bryar had used the break to pack, an idea only shared by two others in their cabin. (One of whom was Michael, and before he'd packed his own, Eddie had helped the kid fit everything in his giant duffel bag when he saw that he was struggling.) Neither of them were particularly keen to be packing right before bed, when they could be doing last minute planning for their meeting in Bangor or just savouring the last of their time together before the coaches arrived in the morning.</p><p>They joined Jed outside, where he was lying a little ways away in the untouched long grass on the far side of their cabin. Eddie brushed aside the familiar hesitation and settled cross-legged beside him. He wasn't going to break out in hives because of the grass if he didn't <em>freak</em> about it. Bryar dropped heavily on Jed's other side, shuffling deliberately close to shove the prone figure a couple inches closer to Eddie, grinning wolfishly when Jed cracked one eye and gave him a scowl.</p><p>"Do you gotta?"</p><p>"You know it." the bigger boy chirped before resting back on his elbows, "You're gonna burn."</p><p>"I put cream on." the blonde pouted, squinting at him, but Bryar only hummed skeptically.</p><p>When it became clear to Jed that his glare was being ignored he flung his head comically to the other side, golden locks curling wildly in the grass, and fluttered his eyes at Eddie. The brunette huffed a laugh, but he reached into his pocket for the tube.</p><p>The trio chatted pleasantly, teasing each other in a manner that had become comfortable and passing the sunblock between them in the remaining time before the bell in the Church rang for them to gather in the Hall.</p><p>"The Last Supper, huh?" Jeb muttered as they rose and stretched, smirking fondly at Eddie when the shorter boy brushed himself free of grass most thoroughly.</p><p>"So dramatic." Bryar laughed, knocking him with an elbow as they started off, "It's not like someone's dying."</p><p>But when Jed looked at him he smiled gently and slid his arm over the blonde's shoulders. Eddie could hear the agreement in his voice, and he felt his chest pang a little bitterly. They'd be going back to their homes too, the town they'd told him about. Barring a giant monster in the sewers, it sounded just as shitty as his own. And they didn't have the Losers there to greet them.</p><p>Although they had Lyle, and he sounded pretty okay. But Eddie felt quite guilty suddenly, to have six of the best friends the world could give him, while they only got one and each other.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yes, this is indeed the second chapter in the early hours of a Sunday morning.<br/>Partly because this is a slightly shorter update than I usually aim for, and also partly because let's face it; I'm a sucker when it comes to these two.</p><p>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Four weeks was a long time. Sure, things had been the same as always in Derry, and bleaker for Eddie's absence, but they didn't know how things were at the camp. He'd spent this whole time worrying that the place was horrible and Eddie was trapped there on his own. Eddie was fierce and could take care of himself, but at least in Derry there were safe places, and the Losers.</p><p>But now, a new thought plagued him that refused to be brushed aside. What if he'd been worrying about the wrong thing?</p><p>What if the camp was a place Eddie was happy? What if he'd been having the time of his life and making new friends and fitting in, and now he was been dragged back to the godawful place that was Derry? They all knew how twisted and poisonous Derry was. The Losers only survived it because they had each other there to lean on when it was rough. What… what if Eddie really didn't want to be back, what if he wanted to be there? And could Richie really blame him if he did? What if he'd made new friends, better friends, met cooler people, and coming home showed him that his friends here really were losers?</p><p>It didn't feel right in Richie's heart. Eddie wouldn't do that. Eddie loved them, loved the Losers Club as hard as Richie did. But it was still a frightening, niggling little thought that wouldn't go away, even as he bounded down the stairs and yelled an apology to the sleepy call of his mom when she poked her head out of her bedroom door at the noise. She merely gave an amused sigh and told him to pass their love on to Eddie, and that only made the squirmy sick feeling in his stomach worse.</p><p>He was gonna see Eddie. Eddie was home, back in good ole Derry. And shortly, he'd be right there where Richie could see again, hear again. He'd be <em>here</em>, where Richie could look at him and know he was safe, could make him laugh. Right here where Richie could touch him, and know he was okay. Fuck, this was bad. He might actually hurl before he made it all the way there.</p><p>He was too agitated for breakfast, but he paused at the door to the kitchen anyway, the blue box on the shelf catching his eye and making him grin. He shoved a silver-foiled packet in his back pocket. And then he was outside, striding to the road with his hands curled tight around the worn rubber handles on his bike, feeling sick with nerves and self-doubt but desperate to see him. He pushed off too fast and nearly fell right on his ass when his bike swayed drunkenly and tried to overbalance him.</p><p>Richie biked down the familiar roads, a brief journey he'd made more times than he could ever reasonably count, the pit of worry in his gut growing wider and wider with every turn of the wheels.</p><p>But, admittedly, the urge to throw up was probably only so strong because all those nerves and worries were being assaulted by sheer excitement. Eddie was back in Derry. <em>His</em> Eddie, the Eddie who'd been gone for four whole weeks of the summer vacation they were supposed to spend together. He hadn't gone this long without seeing his best friend in…. maybe ever. Twenty eight entire days without the mouthy little hypochondriac who knew him better than anyone else, and met Richie's Trashmouth with his own.</p><p>It had been <em>torture</em>. He'd probably only survived because of the Losers. If he'd had to spend the whole time without them too, he'd probably have gone totally crazy. Bev especially had kept him sane, but the past few days the others had - between moments of teasing him quite positively to death - understood his pain and tried to lighten it.</p><p>Ben was the only one yet who'd never made a joke, never thrown even a gentle taunt with mischief in his eyes, and Richie thought that maybe he should try harder to be better friends with Ben. They were so very different that they didn't quite get each other in the same ways, but Ben had given Richie every little bit of support he could have asked for, and Richie appreciated him for it.</p><p>Not that he grudged the others their jokes, fuck, he'd have taunted any one of them if given half the chance, and regularly did. They all knew it wasn't with any heat. Losers were exceptions to the rule, they all knew it. They had nothing but love for one another.</p><p>Richie shook his head with a groan. He was getting fucking sappy, this was ridiculous. Eddie fucking Kaspbrak had a lot to answer for. As he turned into the familiar street, eyes alighting instantly upon the house halfway down, the nerves kicked up another few notches and forced him to breath steadily through his nose.</p><p>When he dropped his bike against the edge of the lawn he didn't let his feet stop, striding across the path towards the doorstep and sending a silent prayer to whatever force was out there listening that Eddie hadn't given up on them all at camp, just in case.</p><p>When she opened the door with one large, flushed hand, Sonia looked at him in surprise for only a second, before a dark light blinked behind her eyes and she gave him a smile that was edged like a keen blade. It made the worry gnaw harder at his stomach. The air sizzled with something that told him something was <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>"Mornin' Mrs K!" he forced out far too brightly, unnerved by the way her smile didn't falter into her usual sneer.</p><p>She didn't respond beyond lifting her head a little, and Richie looked past what little space there was between her and the doorframe, hoping to catch sight of Eddie on the stairs or something. When she didn't immediately shift to cut his view like she usually did, the wrong feeling grew.</p><p>"Eddie ready?" he eventually had to ask, and the wicked line of her stupid mouth grew sharper.</p><p>"It seems to me Eddie's come to his senses, at long last." she sneered, "He won't be hanging around <em>you</em> from now on."</p><p>Richie felt his hackles rising. He hated her. He <em>hated</em> her. He hated the way she was looking at him, he hated the things she'd said about him over the years, hated her stupid face and her stupid attitude, hated the way she bullied the boy he loved so fucking much, hated that she'd sent him away all by himself to a strange place, and he hated that she was speaking to the small, scared part of him that believed her. The part of him that had worried for so long, deep down in his gut, that some day Eddie really would come to his senses, see Richie for who and what he was, and never want to be near him again.</p><p>But when Richie felt that painful, insecure anger licking up his spine, he forced a wide grin onto his face. It unsettled her, he could see it, like it always did. It pissed her off, too. That gave him a sense of triumph that only fed his grin.</p><p>He shoved his hands deep in his jeans pockets and hunched his shoulders over a little just to goad her.</p><p>"Be seeing you, Mrs K." he answered cheerily as he spun on the ball of one foot and headed back down the driveway, whistling loudly and off-key just because he could.</p><p>She wasn't to know that his eyes were stinging with an awful, familiar sensation as he took his time retrieving his bike. She wasn't to know how badly his hands were shaking with raw anger and dread while he was slipping into the nonchalant part as easily as he always had, swinging his leg over the frame unhurried. She wasn't to know that he could taste bile, or that his ribcage positively <em>ached</em>, or that he felt like maybe the world was about to fall down around his ears.</p><p>Because fuck her, what did she know? She was wrong. She <em>had</em> to be wrong. Because Eddie was better than that, <em>had</em> to be. Richie knew him. Eddie was… Eddie was better than that. He'd never believe her words, he <em>wouldn't</em>, Eddie knew she was poisonous.</p><p>Richie kept that hope playing in his head like a mantra to try and ward off the sickening image of her smug smile as he biked as fast as he could towards the Barrens. Bev would be there, and Bev would know what to say. He felt his eyes watering and tried to blink it away. Bev would give him a hug and tell him he was being stupid and then they'd work out how to get Eddie out of the house this time, like they always did when his mom was being a giant bitch.</p><p>Richie ditched his bike by the others and almost ran towards the hidden Clubhouse entrance, his spirits rising. The others were here, because Bev's bike wasn't leaning against the tree on its own, and more people meant more heads to put together to work out what the plan was. He dragged open the hatch and launched himself inside, but when his eyes swept the room there was nobody there.</p><p>Barrens then.</p><p>He hauled himself up the ladder so fast he nearly did fall back down, rolling his eyes with the thought of how smug Eddie would be to see that, having warned him like a zillion times to be careful about getting in and out of the Clubhouse.</p><p>Richie typically answered that with a salacious comment about Eddie's mom, and sometimes even had the bruises to prove it. He kicked leaves across the hatch again before haring through the trees towards the water.</p><p>Bev and Stan and the others were gonna fix this, whatever <em>this</em> was, and everything was gonna be absolutely fine. When the crowd of his best friends came into view he opened his mouth to yell, but it died in his throat when he realised who was standing with them. His feet tripped over themselves and he only barely caught his balance in a bid to not go crashing to the ground.</p><p>Richie's heart thumped hard as he drew in a jagged breath, aware that he was staring.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Self-indulgent fluffery, as promised.<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie's heart leapt nervously in his chest when Eddie turned his way, and in a single long second, Richie watched a breathtaking grin split across his face.</p><p><em>Shit</em> if it wasn't suddenly hard to breathe. His heart pattered unevenly, each beat wobbling as he stared. He felt hot all over and kind of feverish, and his fucking eyes might be about to start watering if he didn't say something ridiculous right fucking-</p><p>"<em>Rich</em>."</p><p>Eddie's voice was soft and coloured with affection and Richie was sure, suddenly, that Eddie had missed him as much as he'd missed Eddie. His stomach flipped over.</p><p>He grinned so hard it hurt.</p><p>"Long time no see, Eds."</p><p>Eddie gave a bright laugh and barrelled into him, wrapping his arms <em>hard</em> around Richie as the taller boy caught his balance. Richie wasted no time in mimicking the gesture, squeezing the shorter boy close as if he might disappear, a laugh bubbling gleefully from his throat. Eddie's hair tickled his face as he pressed it into the neatly tamed locks, unbalancing them comically from side to side just to make Eddie yelp and cling tighter.</p><p>Every single scrap of insecurity was gone, just like that. Eddie Kaspbrak, people. One of a fucking kind.</p><p>"Miss me, did ya?" he teased, hearing his voice dip into something a little more sultry than he really meant it to.</p><p>Eddie drew back to look up at him with a familiar, scowled laugh, his hair mussed and his eyes flashing as he punched Richie in the chest.</p><p>"<em>Duh</em>!"</p><p>He punched him again as they broke apart and Richie indulged him with an exaggerated cry, playing wounded and rubbing his ribs when Eddie started laughing and stood back. Richie's hands rested on Eddie's shoulders and didn't listen to his brain's usual instruction, that constant gnawing reminder that he shouldn't touch too much. Because he was giddy, his stomach flipping over and over as he grinned down at his best friend, eyes roaming over the familiar face as it tipped back to let the laugh spill out.</p><p>The sun had been kind to Eddie while he was gone; his skin taking on a caramel tone, his freckles just a shade darker where they scattered across the bridge of his nose. His eyes gleamed, brimming with such an evident delight that Richie's brain was having a hard time stringing anything coherent together.</p><p>He barely resisted the urge to lean down and press a kiss against the rosy blush on Eddie's cheek. He swallowed around a thick tongue. He hadn't anticipated anything but a typical Kaspbrak retort, and it took him longer than it should've to respond. Remarkably, Eddie seemed not to notice or not to care, grinning toothily up at him and making him feel like the last four weeks were already becoming old memories.</p><p>"I don't blame ya, I <em>am</em> the best thing around."</p><p>Okay, that was lame, but it made Eddie chuckle and elbow him, restoring the balance anyway.</p><p>"You just keep telling yourself that." he snorted, his lips curling in a smirk that made Richie feel a little bit weak.</p><p>"I'd rather <em>you</em> told me." his mouth said, sending a sobering jolt of panic down his spine that Eddie might hear the rawness in his voice that he could himself. He could feel the eyes of their friends on him as he scrambled for more words, "You know what they say about feeding a man's ego."</p><p>Oh jeez, he should've just stopped talking. He could practically <em>feel</em> the laugh Bev was sure to be suppressing.</p><p>Eddie paused for a second, his grin flickering, but then it was gone and he was shoving Richie until he teetered on his heels and calling him an idiot, and bumping close against him when Richie swayed back. Richie threw an arm around him and Eddie screwed his face up. But he didn't move away while they turned to the others, staying right there at Richie's side, leaning his weight against him in a way that wasn't visible to their friends. His knuckles brushed Richie's spine while he answered whatever Bill had said, his fingers curling there in the material of his shirt, like Eddie knew Richie was holding onto him and was holding onto him, too. It was almost all Richie could notice.</p><p>"We missed you, Eddie." Ben said, his smile warm and sweet.</p><p>Richie could feel the way Eddie melted a little, and he knew the feeling. His thumb was rubbing tight little lines up and down his lower back and it was making it difficult not to just close his eyes and dissolve into the sensation. Being without any kind of simple, passing touch from Eddie for four weeks was probably why even just this little show of affection was like tossing his brain in a blender and watching it spin.</p><p>It was pleasant and comforting, and it soothed the ache that had felt so much like it would never leave. As they laughed and traded jokes with the others, with each other, Richie was happy. He was fit to burst with the joy he felt to have Eddie home. The seven of them walked the Barrens, kicking in the water, laughing, finally all together again. They felt it too, Richie knew, that sense of completion.</p><p>He kept Eddie close and Eddie seemed to know he needed it. Or maybe he needed it too, for he stuck like glue to Richie; letting himself be dragged into the water by the arm, yowling about getting his shoes wet even as he followed, kicking water at Richie, complaining about bacteria even as he was reaching down to make better waves with his hands as they played like they had every summer since they were little kids.</p><p>He bitched and snapped without heat when Richie tugged him in a ridiculous circle, dancing without music while the others splashed around them, let Richie pose them as though they were waltzing off-kilter, his laughter warm and pleasant in the haze of sunshine that glittered just above the water. The image was enchanting, Eddie's hair mussed by sweat and water and Richie's hands, the sunlight drawing out those tiny red glints. It was long around his ears, curling sweetly in a way that made something inside Richie's chest sing with utter glee.</p><p>The others talked constantly, asking questions, their eyes flickering to Richie constantly. If he weren't so completely smitten and elated to have the little hypochondriac back, he might have been more upset with them for being so obvious. But he couldn't help it, knowing they saw every touch, every grin, caught every word he tossed in giddy excitement when he had Eddie's familiar chocolate eyes on him.</p><p>But he'd worry about it later, when he could breath in something that wasn't sweet summer air and the smell of Eddie; soap and toothpaste and his deodorant and later, when they were done soaking each other like children, the faint smell of sweat and something simply <em>Eddie.</em></p><p>He took Richie's hand to drag him out eventually. He didn't stray from Richie's side as they all lounged in the long grass by the shore, sharing out the pop tarts that Richie had brought, safe in their foil from the water in his jeans. Eddie had given the taller boy a gentle smile when the silver packet was produced with a cheesy flourish, and when he rested his weight on one hand to lean over a sprawled Richie to pass a piece to Bev, his thumb brushed Richie's hip in a silent thank you.</p><p>Later, when they all stood and stretched and brushed grass-seeds and sand from their clothes, Eddie slipped under Richie's arm without fighting him before they turned to make their way back.</p><p>And perhaps the best of it all, he raced Richie for the hammock.</p><p>He scrambled in and over him, pawing, shoving, all manner of contact before settling eventually, tangled limbs and one damp socked foot resting on Richie's shoulder, toes poking him in the neck every five minutes. His hand rested against one of Richie's ankles. It wasn't anything new for the two of them, so used to being squished together, and was just a simple touch for balance probably, but it made Richie's heart swoop all the same with a definite sense of rightness. Their legs were pressed together, confident and easy contact that served to remind them both they were finally reunited, and between them they swayed the hammock while Eddie told them stories; half of them complaints about the kids, the councillors, the food, the hygiene.</p><p>He told them about some of the boys in his hut that weren't all that bad and had hung out with him. Two had even sworn to write to him, and they wanted to meet in Bangor sometime. They even wanted to meet the Losers, and Eddie thought they'd like them. He said he thought that if they lived in Derry, they'd likely all be friends. Richie was relieved Eddie'd made friends there, the knot of worry in his gut finally dissipating at the reassurance that his best friend hadn't been stuck alone for four weeks.</p><p>But it was even better when Eddie admitted with a faint pink on his cheeks that he'd missed them all.</p><p>Richie let himself stare at the animated expressions on his best friend's face as he regaled them, drinking in the sound of his voice, watching the familiar way he waved his hands around. The afternoon was warm even in the shade of their hideout, clothes drying against sticky skin. Really it should have been unpleasant for the two of them to be tangled together in close quarters while they dried on such a sweltering day, but Richie wouldn't trade it for the world. And a large part of him hoped Eddie felt the same.</p><p>Every now and then, when he was less the centre of attention because someone else was talking, Eddie would turn his face Richie's way and smile at him with soft eyes even while he kicked or squirmed or poked at him. It gave Richie butterflies every time, an intense flood of that same affection and attraction that these days typically only fizzled on a low heat. But today it was deep and hot and rich, and every time those eyes shifted his way he felt his heart lurch all over again.</p><p>It was a strange, sweet torture, but it was awesome. It was good to have Eddie back.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie had only turned the lights out not five minutes before the tap on his window made him turn to his other side in bed, rubbing at his eyes and blinking through the shadow towards the faint light outside. He should have known of course, but when the second pebble bounced off the glass with a high <em>cling</em>, he felt himself smile.</p><p>The third hit him right in the chest while he was pushing the window up, and he picked it up from the sill when he poked his head out into the night, giving his best unimpressed expression as he dropped it towards the upturned face of his annoying visitor. Richie's grin was wide and unapologetic and he wasted no time scaling the tree to reach the outer windowsill. Eddie stepped aside and held the bottom of the sliding frame just in case, like he always did.</p><p>The window stayed up all by itself every single time he opened it, but he never could brush aside the fear that one night it would decide to snap downwards and slam shut, getting them caught. This was one thing his mother's reaction to just didn't bear thinking about. Especially these days, when she didn't even let Richie wait in the hall for him in the morning, not even if it was raining hard enough to soak every inch of their skin in seconds. Hell, he was lucky she even let him walk to school in that now instead of insisting she drive him, even with his perfectly good raincoat.</p><p>When Richie was safely inside, he pulled the window down carefully. He oiled it regularly - Richie or the others would lend him it once every other month so that he never had to worry about hiding the stuff from his mom - so as usual, it slid silently back into place. When he was satisfied he turned to greet the intruder, only to be dragged into a hug he wasn't really expecting.</p><p>"Rich!" he hissed when he almost lost his balance, "Watch it!"</p><p>Richie's answer was a breathy chuckle into Eddie's shoulder, and though Eddie tried hard to scowl his body betrayed him, hugging his best friend back without his command. It went on for a moment, longer than their hugs usually did, which further surprised him. But then again, perhaps Richie had missed him as much as he'd missed <em>him</em>.</p><p>When Richie drew away Eddie only barely caught his expression before the familiar, blinding grin slipped across his features. The moment was gone, for now.</p><p>"Hey, Spagheds."</p><p>Eddie shoved him and just turned towards the bed knowing Richie would follow.</p><p>"That's not my fucking name."</p><p>They were old hands at this, sneaking through windows in the dead of night. Richie more often that him, because he was always terrified his mom would decide to poke her head into his room one morning and discover him gone.</p><p>And <em>that</em> would be the end of all freedoms as he knew them. He'd fought far too hard for those, and not only did Richie have a much better relationship with his parents, but they respected his privacy. Eddie also had a sneaking suspicion that they figured where he'd be anyway, but he'd never been brave enough to ask. In honesty, he was scared of the answer and what it might imply.</p><p>While Eddie got comfortable again Richie toed off his chucks and shrugged out of his hoodie, finally ditching his jeans to crawl under the covers. Eddie watched him settling, shifting the pillow Eddie would have to flatten out once he'd gone again, tugging up the blanket, shuffling down into a better position. When he finally dropped his head back onto the pillow and met Eddie's eye, Eddie was no longer able to fight the growing smile on his face, Lord help him.</p><p>For once, Richie didn't make any kind of comment about it. He just lay there and smiled back, and Eddie felt better. Worrying about his mom finding out could wait till tomorrow morning, when Richie would climb back out as the sun was rising then bike home and back to his own bed, where he'd inevitably fall back asleep. On school nights, he'd do all that before somehow being back at the corner to greet Eddie.</p><p>The Losers had all walked across town to escort him home today, even if it meant some of them would have to double back on their own way home. They'd stretched the day out as long as it would go and hugged him tightly on the corner with promises to see him the next day. Mike had ruffled his hair. Bev had kissed both his cheeks and told him sweetly that she hoped they'd see him then, and he'd promised he'd be there bright and early. So long as his mom let him out. It wasn't all that often that he got those extra few minutes with them all together, and he was grateful for it because he'd missed them <em>fiercely</em>.</p><p>But a tiny part of him hidden inside had almost wished it could have been just him and Richie like usual, if only because he'd missed the boy like he'd lost a limb, and they'd kept him so busy at camp that he hadn't <em>really</em> felt it until he'd seen the tall, goofy trashmouth for the first time in a month, and he'd felt this almost desperate kind of need to be close to him every second he could.</p><p>It was stupid and embarrassing, but he'd given in to it. And now, looking across the pillows with his eyebrows raised, watching the shadows as they slunk into Richie's hair, he realised he was kind of nervous about being alone with his best friend.</p><p>That was stupid, right?</p><p>"You know," Richie started, his voice a little too intimate and raw but warping into something safer, "your mom and I were really enjoying all the- hey! Ha!"</p><p>Eddie's knuckles stung from the contact with Richie's shoulder, but the taller boy looked entirely unfazed as he rubbed his own skin and grinned brightly. His eyes danced with familiar mischief, and despite the familiar irritation Eddie had always clung to when his mom got brought up like that, his stomach fluttered just a little.</p><p>He'd missed this. He'd missed this more than he might have words to say, and that was embarrassing and kind of frightening and more than a little overwhelming. It was harder than usual, not to smile.</p><p>"You're an asshole." he hissed back, and Richie only looked further pleased.</p><p>Eddie kind of hoped Richie had come to stay the night because he'd missed their walk alone too, but he tried his best not to think about that because that was just making everything a little bit too jumbled in his head right then. It didn't help when Richie pinched his cheek with his usual dumb cooing noises, or that his eyes flashed when Eddie snapped back too quietly to have much impact because he was wary of his mom hearing.</p><p>But, when Eddie eventually rolled his eyes pointedly and rolled away onto his other side just to spite him, Richie's long fingers curled at his hip and tugged him back against his chest. Eddie's heart spluttered awake, unprepared for the proximity, but Richie didn't say anything as he curled loosely around Eddie, not even when his chin came to rest against the top of his head.</p><p>It felt like forever since they'd done this. Eddie knew a good part of that was growing up, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been keeping his distance the past year or so too.</p><p>It had taken the Losers <em>years</em> to get Eddie somewhere resembling comfortable with lots of physical affection. But Richie had ways of making it easy, usually. Eddie had only begun realising that recently, that all those times Richie shoved him unnecessarily or dumped an arm around him for the sake of it, were his way of training him to accept it. Like Bev giving him more kisses than she ever gave the others. Like Stan, who was so reserved, resting his chin on Eddie's shoulder when they crushed together on someone's sofa to read comics or watch movies on VHS.</p><p>Eddie snorted as they settled again, but if he dug his shoulder closer into Richie's embrace as they fell asleep, neither said anything.</p><p>~.~</p><p>"You'll come with me, right? To Bangor?"</p><p>Richie looked up from the board, and Eddie shifted a little at the look on his face. It had been just over a week since his return to Derry, and he'd spent most of that time in the company of his six favourite people, driven to defy his mom even more than usual because he'd missed them so much. He'd decided to call it <em>her</em> punishment, for sending <em>him</em> away as punishment. That helped him keep hold of his resolve when she started wheedling for him to stay home.</p><p>Today his refuge was the Tozier residence, just the two of them sprawled on the den room carpet with a worn Monopoly board between them. He'd had a letter just this morning, asking. While he'd written them both days ago, since they were spending their summer together they'd written to him together too, and Eddie thought the switching handwriting every few lines was kind of wonderful, really. It had made him smile.</p><p>He'd promised he'd haul his friends to Bangor to meet them, and they'd set the date only a few days from today. It had taken a huge amount of effort for Eddie not to betray his giddiness to his mother while they ate breakfast. He'd barely managed to get out the front door before his grin was splitting his face and he was racing across the lawn for his bike. They were meeting the Losers at the Quarry after lunch, but Maggie had insisted he stay and eat with them and so they were indulging in a semi-serious round of Monopoly while they waited.</p><p>Richie liked to cheat as unsubtly as could be, and Eddie liked to call him on it. While less fun without the others, it was amusing them both enough that Eddie dared to broach the subject on his mind.</p><p>"Sure we will." Richie's answer was easy, "Well, if Bev and Mike can get away. They've been around some while you were gone, but Bev says her dad is getting pretty pissed at her."</p><p>He didn't say that Bev was gonna have to try to appease the bastard by being home more, they both knew that already. Eddie understood intimately the balancing act that Bev had to play, he'd spent his life playing it too. He was luckier now, that his mom was losing her control over him little by little. It didn't seem much like Bev's dad was.</p><p>Eddie swallowed and looked down at his cards for a second as he picked his words.</p><p>"Would you come if… What if it was just us? Just the first time?"</p><p>Richie grew still and Eddie risked a quick glance. His friend was looking at him in surprise and Eddie felt himself turning pink for no reason. And then it was gone, and Richie was chuckling as he rolled the dice and moved the little dog eight places.</p><p>"A date with the Spaghetti Man?" he teased, flashing Eddie a bright, faux lecherous grin, "Who could resist?"</p><p>Eddie groaned and snatched up the dice, scowling to cover the way his stomach had lurched a little. Richie was just joking, like always, but it hit close to home when Eddie knew what he knew about Jed and Bryar, and what he was afraid he might be starting to get to know about himself.</p><p>"If you're gonna be a dick, I'll take Stan instead." he lied, tossing the dice and cursing the low five, "I just think maybe I should just take one of you, the first time. Six is a lot of strangers for them to meet. They're not bringing anyone with them."</p><p>He placed the little top hat in the silence that fell between them, and wondered if maybe he'd been too harsh in the way he'd spoken. He felt weird around Richie right now, and he wasn't used to it. Being with Richie had always been easy for Eddie, even when he really <em>did</em> bug him to death. But since he'd gotten back from camp there had been moments, ones where Eddie let his mind panic and he was left acutely aware of every single little thing.</p><p>It was hard to look at the two of them and not be reminded a little bit of the way Jed and Bryar looked at him when they asked about him, and the implication was kind of overwhelming. Richie's jokes, however stupid and familiar, suddenly didn't really help.</p><p>"Nooooo!" his friend howled dramatically, "I'm flattered, Eds! I am! Don't take Stan on your Double Date! I'll be good, I <em>swear</em>!"</p><p>The Voice he used was an over-the-top simpering lady, complete with wilting faint, the back of his hand on his forehead, and even though Eddie's stomach tightened with the irrational fear that Richie somehow knew something he shouldn't, he couldn't help but laugh.</p><p>"You're <em>never</em> good."</p><p>Richie sat up straight and Eddie only had time to see his gleaming eyes before he replied.</p><p>"That's not what your <em>mom</em> says!"</p><p>He only laughed when Eddie threw the dice at him, and he didn't stop the whole time they had to put the game on hold to hunt for the one that had disappeared, bickering all the while. By the time they'd located it and settled back down, Eddie had gotten his anxiety under control once more.</p><p>That night, long after they'd left the Quarry and convinced Eddie's mom to let his sleepover, (at Bill's, of course, or so she thought,) when they were in the darkened living room, Richie gave Eddie's hip a tap with his heel. Eddie looked over to the other end of the sofa and Richie gave him a gentle grin that Eddie wasn't expecting.</p><p>"I'll go with you to Bangor. You didn't need to ask."</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes as the smile crept onto his face unbidden.</p><p>"Like I'd take anyone else." he admitted, courageous in the dark and encouraged by the way Richie had thrown aside his teasing for a second.</p><p>He had to look away when Richie beamed in delight, because it was making his heart fumble around in his chest and he was worried Richie might be able to see it in his face. Excitement bubbled under his skin though, at the thought. He couldn't wait to introduce his new friends to Richie. He knew they'd love him, even if most people outside of the Losers Club couldn't stand him. He knew they'd be different. Lord only knew <em>how</em>, but he could picture Richie just fitting into their little trio without much effort.</p><p>He hoped Richie liked them. Eddie liked them a lot, but he cared about Richie's opinion more than he probably should. It'd suck if Richie hated them.</p><p>"Eds?"</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"Are you sure they're alright?"</p><p>He looked away from the screen to catch the hidden look in Richie's eyes and gave him a bright, reassuring smile in response.</p><p>"They're great Rich, I really think you'll like them."</p><p>Richie nodded, watching him for a second before looking away. It was kinda weird, and Eddie looked at him for a couple seconds before turning back to the movie himself, wondering what it was that sat so strangely in Richie's small smile.</p><p>Weird.</p><p>He'd told them a little about the camp, in the days they'd spent lounging in the Clubhouse. He'd been vague about what the sermons entailed, but from the way they looked at each other, the Losers probably knew what he wasn't saying. Bev hugged him extra hard at home time, and nobody brought it up again. Maybe Richie was just worried Eddie's new friends were weird, or maybe he thought they'd be like the people in Derry.</p><p>Or maybe it was just Eddie feeling tired and out of place and kind of… shy? Awkward, even, around Richie now. He hoped that would fade. He wanted things to be the way they usually were, and wished he could shut off the part of his brain that kept reminding Eddie of the way Jed had looked at him when he told them about Richie. Like he was-</p><p>Nope. Not going there. Bad idea.</p><p>They finished the movie and for possibly the first time when Richie moaned he was too tired to move upstairs to sleep, Eddie didn't fight it. Who cared if sleeping on the sofa was gonna leave him with a crick in his neck or sore muscles? The thought of climbing into Richie's bed with him made him feel hot and uncomfortable and embarrassed, and it wasn't something Eddie was used to.</p><p>He almost wished he hadn't found out about Jed and Bryar.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie blinked groggily. His eyelids were heavy, his body tired. But something in the quiet of the cabin had woken him, and as he rubbed his eyes and stared at the ceiling in the pitch black, it only took a moment to realise what. Hushed voices, far enough away that the words were indistinguishable. He sighed. He'd always been a light sleeper. The slightest noises woke him up. For a long while, Loser sleepovers were long nights of him waking every time one of the others got up to pee, for a drink of water, had a nightmare, tossed and turned.</p><p>At some point it had faded, but only at Loser sleepovers. He was still woken in his own bed by squirrels climbing the tree outside the window, if they moved noisily enough. If his mom got up, he'd hear her.</p><p>Needless to say, camp was a fucking nightmare, and after two weeks getting used to all the unfamiliar noises at night, it was wearing him out not getting enough continuous sleep each night. He closed his eyes and tried to settle but the whispering caught his attention again. Though he tried, he couldn't ignore it. It was coming from somewhere on his right, almost sounding like it was outside. He wondered who would be up, in the middle of the night. If the councillors caught them, they'd be in trouble.</p><p>Eddie didn't know why that thought didn't stop him pushing aside his blanket and sitting up. The bathroom, he decided. A muffled sound, like giggling. Curiosity gripped him out of nowhere, and he pressed his feet into the cold wooden floor. He sat in the silence that fell. He realised he was waiting, as though he needed the sound to return to coax himself from the bed.</p><p>He'd almost convinced himself he'd imagined it before he heard it again. Definitely a voice, muffled and hushed in the dark. Probably the reason he'd heard it was being so close to the door to the bathroom.</p><p>His feet had carried him silently through the shadows before he even realised, his heart pattering a little fast in his chest. It wasn't fear, exactly. Not real fear, anyway. Just… apprehension. The councillor was gonna kill him if he got caught. His mother would be furious. He blew his breath out quietly, pausing near the bathroom door. Indecision took hold the second he stopped, like it always did. He was brave if he didn't let himself think. The second he did, he started to doubt.</p><p><em>Don't stop to think</em>.</p><p>Old words came to him, and he almost smiled. Richie gave the worst fucking advice sometimes.</p><p>Eddie reached for the handle and pulled open the door.</p><p>The room was dark, but as he opened the door the patch of light from the moon shining in the huge glazed window in the shower area came into view on his left. He stepped into the room and his eye was instantly drawn to the movement against the wall, a shape that parted the blanket of the bright moonlight. A single heartbeat of pure terror pierced Eddie's head at the memory of sewer shadows and monsters moving in the dark.</p><p>But then his brain made sense of the shape, only that didn't make any sense either. Eddie was still standing staring when the figures jumped apart and whirled to look at him.</p><p>The moon was behind him, but Eddie knew it was Jed. He recognised the shape of him, the way his shoulders pitched at an angle. Some part of him knew who the other was. It didn't make any sense, but somehow he knew before he recognised him.</p><p>"Eddie?"</p><p>Jed's voice pitched and squeaked. Fear, raw and recognisable flooded the room. It was cloying like swamp water and it made Eddie shiver. His heart was truly racing then, a weird kind of anxious panic icing his blood and fracturing into tiny shards that cut into his muscles. He opened his mouth, but he didn't know what he wanted to say.</p><p>"Oh shit," Jed whimpered softly, "oh fuck, oh fuck, shit, shit, Eddie, y-you- shit-"</p><p>The other boy was moving, and Eddie stumbled backwards stupidly as his eyes began adjusting to the dark. He took in Bryar's face and it only added to the turmoil he was falling into. He wasn't moving towards Eddie, though. He was reaching for Jed, pulling him back and moving a little in front of him, like he thought Eddie might do something to hurt him. Eddie's head was sluggish with lingering sleep and confusion, and all he could do was continue to stare.</p><p>"I gotchu," Bryar murmured, wrapping one arm around the slimmer boy and angling him further from Eddie, "hey, hey."</p><p>Jed was crying, Eddie realised with a startled jolt. He was crying great, breathless sobs. Eddie's insides twisted up in sympathy even though he felt like he hadn't really caught up to what was happening. He felt his face heating as he continued to stand there, his ribs tightening, and the old itch for the useless plastic inhaler resurfaced. He knew it was panic, obviously. So he swallowed, and did his best to ignore it trying to choke him.</p><p>Bryar was looking at him, even as he murmured non-words in an effort to console his distraught best friend. Eddie was a little afraid of the expression pulling down the shadows of the boy's face, and a tremor tickled his spine as he was reminded how much smaller he was than either of them. An irrational thought maybe, but it was there. He opened his mouth again, but nothing came out. The gears in his head jarred and clicked. He felt caught out.</p><p>"You can say it," Bryar's voice suddenly spat, low and fierce and pretty intimidating, "we've heard it all before."</p><p>"Bry…"</p><p>Something snapped like a rubber band in Eddie's head at the watery, frightened sound of Jed's voice. He was reminded, painfully, of the way that Richie sounded on that day years ago when he literally bowled Eddie over running from Bowers and his gang. The sound of raw, helpless fear, bending the pitch of his voice as he tried to find a mask to slip on and hide his weakness behind.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>Eddie could feel his mouth gold-fishing uselessly, as information began flooding and screaming in his head.</p><p><strong><em>Kissing</em></strong>, his brain yowled, <strong><em>Kissing</em></strong><em>, </em><strong><em>Kissing</em></strong><em>, </em><strong><em>Kissing!</em></strong></p><p>"Eddie please," Jed pushing Bryar's arms aside, his voice thick with tears, "please don't say anything, please, they'll- my dad…" he took a shuddering breath and covered his face in his hands, "Oh god, my <em>dad</em>. If they tell him- If they- Eddie…"</p><p>He dissolved into garbled sobs again, but it was dawning painfully and bluntly on Eddie what he'd just witnessed. And it was awful; clawing and dark like the ooze he'd faced as a child, ready to drag him under, prey for It. It ballooned up from the bit of his stomach and threatened to swallow his lungs. He wheezed.</p><p>Jed was looking at him with pain in his eyes, his face all screwed up and wet with tears, and when he stepped forward Eddie was compelled backwards for reasons he couldn't really understand. He regretted it when hurt flashed across the faces of both his new friends, and he reached a hand out in an aborted gesture. Bryar pulled Jed back again. He pulled the blonde behind him and shifted himself between them, and something inside Eddie's brain recognised the gesture on a soul-deep level.</p><p>It was terrifying, almost all-consuming. But suddenly, with the thought of him, a strange thread of warmth blossomed in his chest, loosening his airways, and he finally felt like he knew what was happening.</p><p>"I won't." he croaked, looking between their faces.</p><p>Jed, so utterly terrified, Bryar so set and hard and angry. No, not angry. Not really, more like wary. Distrustful. Protective. It was familiar, even splashed across a face he'd never seen show it before. He knew the look. It only made the swirl of confusing emotions in his gut worse, but there was a part of him that just knew, like it was sitting waiting for the rest of his brain to catch up.</p><p>"I won't say anything."</p><p>Jed took another huge breath, fixing Eddie with his gaze as he drew in further, shaking breaths. Bryar was watching him but still stood there, half-blocking Jed from his view, arm cocked protectively around the blonde. It spoke to Eddie of something more than friendship for the first time. He felt stupid. He'd been seeing it this whole time, and not even understanding it. As his stomach filled with that dark ooze, he felt like he finally understood what it was he felt like he'd been peeking at.</p><p>No wonder it had felt just like all the times he'd caught those glances Ben and Bev would shoot each other when nobody else was looking. He <em>had</em> been seeing the same thread of emotion in the eyes of his cabin-mates.</p><p>"If they find out," Bryar finally muttered in a voice low and calm and guarded, "you have no idea what they'll do."</p><p>But that wasn't true, was it? It brought a weird, unnatural chuckle to Eddie's tongue and he shook his head as it spilled from him.</p><p>"I'm from Derry, remember?"</p><p>Neither of them answered him, but Eddie shrugged. He was exhausted and he felt sick because his stomach wouldn't stop its fucking shit, and the racing thoughts in his head were giving him a migraine.</p><p>"In Derry, it'll get you killed." he clarified, surprising himself with the bitter edge in his voice.</p><p>He thought of Henry Bowers, of a childhood terrorised by him. The slurs he'd sling at them like they couldn't possibly hurt as much as they did. He thought of Connor, picking up where his cousin left off when Henry was locked up for what he did to his dad. He thought of the way his gut felt when they hurled the hateful words. The way they stung like barbs in his skin, the way they made Richie tense and hard like he was closing himself off from everything.</p><p>And the thought of Richie, who'd always gotten it a hundred times worse than the rest of them when it came to that particular thread of colourful, violent words… the thought hurt. Richie'd been beaten up more times than Eddie could count, over the years. It didn't even matter whether he was, or wasn't what they said. They all knew that wouldn't stop anything. It had been bad, real bad, more than once. So Eddie knew, what Bryar was saying. He understood the weight of that accusation. He knew the real danger a guy could be put in, if folks thought that about him.</p><p>"One time," he said without thinking, his mind filled with those images of Richie crying in the Barrens and making Eddie swear not to tell the others, "one time Bowers got Richie so bad he had to- he needed s-stitches."</p><p>It was Eddie who had given him them, sitting in the Clubhouse with his stomach full of panic, amazed at both his own steady hands and Richie's courage as the sewing needle had been pushed in and out of the skin along his cheekbone. There had been so much blood. Eddie had been frantic, his cast making one arm uncooperative and inaccurate, but Richie was strangely calm. Probably in shock. They'd only just killed a fucking monster from space. Life was supposed to be better. It was the last time Henry Bowers laid a hand on any of them before the police realised it was him who'd killed one of their own, and if Richie hadn't gotten away, Eddie was sure Bowers would've killed him too.</p><p>"Richie's… Bowers was a dick to us all, but shit's always been worse for Richie." Eddie blinked as he realised his eyes were watering.</p><p>"Richie's gay?"</p><p>Eddie flinched at the word in an instant flare of denial and something fearful, but caught himself as his mouth opened.</p><p>"No, I- I mean, I- we don't… no. He…"</p><p>He bit his lip, realising it was a question he didn't think he wanted to know the answer to. Bryar turned his head away for just a second to place a kiss on Jed's face, making Eddie drop his gaze hurriedly, his face burning hot and his stomach pinching.</p><p>"Do me a favour," Bryar said, his tone strained all of a sudden, "if he ever tells you he is? Don't look at him the way you're looking at us."</p><p>Eddie looked back up without meaning to, meeting Bryar's eye in surprise. The taller boy gave him a tight grimace, only looking away when Jed gave him a weak shove.</p><p>"Don't." the blonde rasped, dropping his forehead onto Bryar's shoulder with a sigh, "Don't, Bry."</p><p>Bryar butted their heads together before rolling his eyes and looking back at Eddie.</p><p>"I mean it, though. Even if you live in a shit backwater town. <em>Especially</em> if you live in a shit backwater town. If he <em>is</em>, he'll need you. All of you. You have no idea what it's like, being us."</p><p>Indignation split up Eddie's windpipe, and he opened his mouth to argue that he knew <em>exactly</em> what it was like to be an outcast. He was a Loser. Of course he knew. But right then, Jed lifted his head and looked right at him with honest blue eyes, and Eddie felt like he was being peered into again. It made him feel naked.</p><p>"I think you do." he said softly.</p><p>Eddie looked away and didn't answer. Silence fell, reminding them that they were standing in the shower-room in the middle of the night. The yawn overtook Eddie, stretching his dry lips uncomfortably. When it was done with him, it hopped to Jed and then slid to Bryar. The three boys looked at each other in the dark, and it was Eddie who finally said they should get to bed.</p><p>He was opening the door when a hand took his wrist in a loose hold. He turned his face up to meet Jed's eye.</p><p>"You promise you're not gonna say anything?"</p><p>The question was awkward and clumsy, and maybe that's what stopped Eddie from tugging away or doing something else that might have conveyed the discomfort in his gut. He saw Jed, looking back at him in the shadow, his face pale and worried and hopeful, and he thought of Richie keeping a secret like that in a place like Derry, and some part of him just understood what he'd do if that were true. He looked back at Jed, feeling small and afraid and on the cusp of something new.</p><p>Whatever he decided, nothing was going to be the same again. He was going to be changed by it. It was an odd, heavy thought in his head. Old, like Stan had spoken it to him, like his wisest friend had told him to think before jumping in or shying away.</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>He watched the relieved grin light Jed's face. It took the sting out of how the weighted promise had tasted in his mouth, and how the ripple of fear gave him goosebumps.</p><p>Eddie slept fitfully until they were woken in the early morning light, his sleep full of shadows and snatches of old memories; cuts and bruises the Losers had collected from Bowers and his goons. It was harder to look at Jed and Bryar in the light of day.</p><p>Every time he found himself looking their way, his stomach would knot with anxiety and he'd be compelled to glance around nervously, like he was expecting someone to storm up and accuse him of something or tell him they could see the thoughts in his head. Dreadful anxiety ate him up constantly, like anyone around them was looking right through their pretences and knew the dirty little secret they were keeping.</p><p>But every time it got really bad, floating up his windpipe like it was gonna tell the world, a little voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like any one of the Losers would reassure him, and it would crawl back down to lie in his belly again.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Indulgent cute meet-up, you say?<br/>Yes!</p><p>Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and support, it's so wicked hearing what you think so far!<br/>Happy Reading!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eddie!"</p><p>Eddie turned towards the sound to see Jed jogging towards him, grin bright and wide. He grinned back. As soon as he was close enough, Jed threw one arm around him to tug him into a hug. They teetered from the force, laughing together. When he pulled away, Jed looked Eddie up and down and smirked.</p><p>"Did you get taller? I swear you were shorter than that."</p><p>"Fuck off," Eddie snorted as he swatted the blonde half-heartedly, "it's been like two weeks."</p><p>Jed shrugged and let him go.</p><p>"We missed you, man."</p><p>Eddie snorted again and smiled at Bryar as he finally reached them. But it was good to see them again.</p><p>"Hey, Eddo."</p><p>"Hi, Bryar."</p><p>"Hi, Bry!" Jed mimicked, dancing away when Eddie tried to elbow him.</p><p>He made no move to dodge the playful jab and his blue eyes slid from Eddie, and Eddie felt his stomach lurch a teeny bit when he realised they'd both turned to boy beside him. He looked up at Richie just in time to catch the weird, wary expression on his face. He didn't even have time to open his mouth before Jed was talking again. His voice was instantly calmer, and friendly.</p><p>"I betcha you're Richie."</p><p>Eddie stuck his hands in his pockets to stop himself from fidgeting when Jed glanced at him with a positively delighted expression.</p><p>"Yeah." he answered when Richie didn't say anything, clearing his throat and trying to look like he wasn't nervous, "This is Richie."</p><p>Bryar's mouth quirked.</p><p>"He's dorkier than I pictured."</p><p>And with that Eddie felt miles better, laughing loudly while Jed swatted at the broader boy and scolded him, Richie making offended noises beside him. He knocked Eddie with an elbow and Eddie grinned up at him, shrugging casually.</p><p>"Hey, listen I tried. But you heard the man."</p><p>"Uh, huh. I bet you <em>did</em>!"</p><p>He dodged away when Richie lunged for him, and he felt better to see the way Richie's lips curled when he eventually caught him and stuck him in a headlock long enough to totally ruin his hair. Eddie played up his howls like he knew Richie expected, and was pleased to see his dark eyes light up behind his glasses.</p><p>"Fuck you, dickwad."</p><p>Richie hummed, but his eyes still gleamed. Eddie knew it was coming.</p><p>"As your future step-dad, that'd be kinda wrong, dude."</p><p>Eddie shrieked and shoved him with a deep scowl.</p><p>"Shut <em>up</em>, Rich! When you gonna grow up?"</p><p>Richie cocked an eyebrow at him, and Eddie narrowed his eyes. He stuck a hand on his hip and pointed a finger warningly at him.</p><p>"Don't say it. Don't fucking dare."</p><p>Instead, Richie chuckled and dropped an elbow on Eddie's shoulder to emphasise their height difference, and Eddie rolled his eyes to the sky.</p><p>"You two are the fucking cutest."</p><p>Eddie felt Jed's comment hit him like a slap to the face, turning startled eyes on the blonde as his whole body froze up in shock. But Richie didn't miss a beat, leaning right down into Eddie's space to pinch his cheek and laugh brightly.</p><p>"Ain't nobody cuter than Eddie Spaghetti!" he crowed in a terrible Voice, and Eddie thought he might love Richie more than anything in the whole world, for making such an awkward moment feel normal.</p><p>Even if it was totally embarrassing him in front of his newest friends.</p><p>"Get off," he complained, shoving at him, but Richie crowded him more, pushing back, and Eddie squeaked as Richie pinched his cheek again, "<em>Rich</em>!"</p><p>"Cute, cute, cute!"</p><p>"Get the fuck <em>off</em> me, dickweed!"</p><p>Richie did back up then, tipping his head out of reach when Eddie tried to flick him away, but his arm stayed tight around the shorter boy as they turned back to the others, his fingers squeezing into Eddie's skin like a grounding force. Eddie didn't wriggle away, but he made a show of tugging his polo straight and fixing his hair with a scowl.</p><p>"You said you'd behave," he whined, turning beseeching eyes on Jed and Bryar, pretending he couldn't see the knowing looks in their eyes, "he promised he'd behave."</p><p>"I made no such promise." Richie answered pleasantly, but the challenge in the sound was clear to Eddie.</p><p>Like he was trying on purpose to misbehave, seeing how far he could push, gauging what Eddie's new friends thought of...</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>Suddenly, Eddie felt bad for asking Richie to tone down his ridiculous antics. He hadn't really considered how Richie might feel about being asked to act like they were in the public eye of Derry, and it struck him suddenly what Richie was doing. He was showing Jed and Bryar his real self, the way he behaved around the Losers. Eddie shot him a grateful glance, and when the dark eyes met his he scowled. Richie would know by looking, he knew. Richie adjusted his glasses, giving Eddie's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. And there it was, the acknowledgement Eddie was looking for, curling faintly at the corner of Richie's crooked smirk.</p><p>When he turned back to the others, Eddie gave them an exasperated smile.</p><p>"So yup, this is my Loser of a best friend." he sighed, gesturing up and down, "I've been stuck with him for like… eleven?"</p><p>"Eleven." Richie confirmed automatically.</p><p>"Eleven years." Eddie finished, exaggerating his sigh.</p><p>"Awh Eds, you know you love me." Richie laughed, and Eddie just rolled his eyes and snorted.</p><p>"You can tell." Bryar commented, that Stan-like curl of his lips reappearing.</p><p>Eddie felt his cheeks reddening as he scowled at Bryar, but it was hard to look menacing when Richie's laughter was shaking him. He elbowed his best friend instead, because that was easier.</p><p>"Shut <em>up</em>."</p><p>Jed snickered.</p><p>"Bry's right, you can totally tell you guys are best friends."</p><p>Richie squeezed Eddie's shoulder again and Eddie couldn't stop the reluctant smile, even if it made them all laugh at him.</p><p>"Are we going somewhere or what?" he pouted, "I didn't come all the way here to get picked on."</p><p>"Nope," Richie popped, "cause<em> I</em> could do that at home."</p><p>Jed laughed as he gestured for them to follow him along the street. He pulled a face when he looked back at them again.</p><p>"How <em>is</em> Derry?"</p><p>He gave them a sympathetic smile when they both groaned in unison.</p><p>"Fuck Derry, man." Richie snorted, and Eddie's heart echoed the sentiment at the bitter undertone.</p><p>"Yeah, fuck Derry." he agreed quietly.</p><p>The air was quiet for a moment while they walked, and Eddie was sure the others were probably thinking about what he'd told them of Derry. Sure, it was home. But it was hell, too. Even with It gone.</p><p>"You know the only good thing about Derry?" Richie said suddenly, a new smile colouring his voice as he raised an eyebrow at Eddie.</p><p>Eddie grinned back.</p><p>"The Losers."</p><p>Richie offered him a high five with his free hand, both of them laughing when Eddie completed it.</p><p>"The Losers."</p><p>Jed's blue eyes sparkled.</p><p>"I still can't believe you call yourselves that," he chuckled, "it's great."</p><p>"Maybe we need a Losers Club." Bryar said, bumping their shoulders together.</p><p>Jed rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Just the three of us?"</p><p>Bryar shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"Three's a gang, ain't it?"</p><p>Jed scoffed and gave him a soft shove.</p><p>"Hardly."</p><p>They bantered back and forth as Jed led them down a street towards the corner, to the place he'd told Eddie about. Richie seemed to be relaxing into their company, and so Eddie was really fucking happy the whole time. He'd known without doubt they'd like Richie, but he'd still been worried Richie might not like them as much as Eddie did.</p><p>Once they slid into their booth and gave their order to the waitress, Jed turned to Eddie and pulled a sad face.</p><p>"What happened to the others? I thought you were gonna bring the whole gang."</p><p>Eddie blinked.</p><p>"I… Well, I thought maybe it'd be kind of… a lot?"</p><p>Richie leaned back against the red vinyl of the booth bench, draping an arm along the back behind Eddie as he did. Eddie caught the flicker of Bryar's eyes as he too noticed the movement. He swallowed and felt the heat crawling up his neck when Bryar's gaze dropped to him. Jed made no indication <em>he'd</em> noticed, leaning across the table a little to rest his chin on his hands and exaggerate the sad expression further.</p><p>"But you <em>promised</em> we'd get to meet them all! I wanna talk poetry with Ben!"</p><p>Eddie laughed nervously. At least, he hoped it didn't sound nervous. He <em>felt</em> nervous.</p><p>"Okay, okay. I'll bring them all next time. I just… I thought it'd be better not to scare you guys with everybody all at once."</p><p>"I'm his favourite, anyway." Richie added primly, looking entirely unaffected when Eddie elbowed him.</p><p>"Rich!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Eddie did his best to look unimpressed.</p><p>"I don't have favourites. <em>You're</em> just the worst behaved." he corrected over Jed's laughter.</p><p>Richie played wounded, his mouth flapping open and his free hand pressing against his heart. Eddie twisted his lips and raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"Tell me I'm wrong."</p><p>Richie rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Just because the rest of you are no fun."</p><p>"Whatever."</p><p>The waitress brought their shakes over then, and Richie made the others laugh by threatening to dip his finger in the puffy froth of Eddie's glass, evidently taking pleasure in making Eddie screech and wrestle it away from him. They talked about camp. They talked about the Losers. Jed and Bryar talked about Lyle. They didn't mention their old friends, and Eddie didn't say anything either. He'd promised not to say anything, and he'd meant it.</p><p>It was more comfortable than Eddie had expected hanging out in public with people other than the Losers would be. Richie teased him relentlessly and his new friends enjoyed siding with the taller boy over him, creating a whole new avenue for Richie to tease him.</p><p>When they were done, glasses empty and the sun higher in the sky, Jed led them all away from the busiest parts of the city towards the water while telling them about how his mom used to bring him there when he was real small. He brushed over mentions of his dad, like he had at camp.</p><p>Richie talked about the time his parents brought him and Stan to the beach when they were little. Bryar talked about his little sister, and how she loved the beach so much his parents brought them loads of weekends. Eddie shrugged when they looked to him.</p><p>"My mom hates sand. She says it's-"</p><p>"Lemme guess," Bryar rolled his eyes, "filthy? Carries too much bacteria?"</p><p>Eddie hummed.</p><p>"That's the lovely Mrs Kaspbrak." Richie confirmed as he kicked his shoes off, hopping on one foot to remove his sock, "Thinks everything's disgusting."</p><p>He placed his foot down and lifted the other before the sly grin touched his lips and his gaze flicked sideways to Eddie.</p><p>""Well, everything besides my massive-"</p><p>"Richie!" Eddie shoved him hard enough he fell over laughing, grinning unabashedly up at him from the sand.</p><p>"Cummon, Eds! You-"</p><p>"One, don't call me that. And-"</p><p>"-gotta know by now-"</p><p>"two, I swear to <em>fuck</em>, Richie, if you-"</p><p>"-how much-"</p><p>"-finish that fucking sentence, I swear to fucking-"</p><p>"-she <em>loves</em> my-"</p><p>"-<em>god</em>, you <em>dick</em>."</p><p>Richie's grin grew the longer Eddie ranted, taking over his whole face and lighting up his eyes in a way that was equal parts infuriating and kind of beautiful, making Eddie's heart lurch just a little bit. He'd been away so long, two-and-a-bit weeks back home was nowhere near enough to readjust to how Richie made him feel.</p><p>"I'm lost." Jed's puzzled voice cut the air.</p><p>Eddie groaned and Richie sat up, delighted. Eddie's face flushed hot as he watched Richie turn the full wattage of his grin on his new friends and he just knew he was bound to be red. Richie explained himself with such an evident delight that Eddie wanted to bury him up to his neck in the sand and walk away.</p><p>"Eddie's <em>mom</em> is a great big fan of my wang."</p><p>"You're not fucking my mom. Do you have to tell people that? <em>God</em>, you're an asshole."</p><p>Richie laughed, tugging his other sock off before getting to his feet.</p><p>"Cummon, Eds. They're not really gonna believe your mom and me are doing the dirty."</p><p>Eddie looked up at the sky and willed his face to cool and he listened to his three friends laughing together. Considering hot hot the sunlight was, that was probably a lost cause.</p><p>"Really? Your mom jokes?"</p><p>Eddie met Jed's gaze levelly, and the blonde smirked at him. Bryar grinned.</p><p>"I told you, didn't I tell you he was immature?"</p><p>"You did." his new friends chorused.</p><p>Richie's arm slid around his waist and pulled him close so fast he nearly lost his balance before scowling up at him.</p><p>"Awwh Eds, you talk much about me at your dumb camp?"</p><p>Eddie wriggled away and huffed.</p><p>"Yeah, they asked what the worst thing about Derry was and I said you."</p><p>"Hey! Man that was <em>low</em>!"</p><p>Eddie cackled as Richie slipped into theatrics, giving the biggest puppy dog eyes, dark eyes huge behind his glasses. Eddie merely grinned and shrugged.</p><p>"Pffft." Jed snorted, blue eyes glinting when Eddie looked over at him.</p><p>He was sitting in the sand beside Bryar, both undoing their laces and tugging off their shoes.</p><p>"All we heard every time Derry came up was Richie this, Richie that." Bryar hummed nonchalantly, merely smirking when Eddie squeaked and kicked sand at them both.</p><p>They were terrible people, he decided as he heard the glee in Richie's triumphant yell.</p><p>"I knew it!"</p><p>"He's lying." Eddie crossed his arms, "I forgot all about you."</p><p>"Uh huh, I guess it was some other guy's jokes he kept telling us." Jed laughed, dodging another kick of sand.</p><p>"Nope! Definitely me!" Richie singsonged, grinning and tugging Eddie into a spinning hug, "I tell all the best jokes."</p><p>"You're not even <em>funny</em>." Eddie argued as he squirmed away, but he was laughing too.</p><p>"What else d'you tell em, about me?"</p><p>Jed laughed over Eddie's denial.</p><p>"Everything!" he shouted cryptically as Bryar mocked tackling him into the sand and covering his mouth to muffle his speech, winking conspiratorially at Eddie. When Richie looked at him expectantly, Eddie only groaned.</p><p>"Are we going to the water, or what?"</p><p>"Are you taking your shoes off, or what?" Richie fired back.</p><p>"One of these days, Tozier," Eddie bitched, dropping onto his butt to pull his shoes off, "being a smartass is gonna get you into trouble."</p><p>"Yeah right," Richie rolled his eyes, "I'm faster than Connor now."</p><p>It was meant to be a joke and Eddie knew it, but the muffled peep from Jed made it fall flat. Eddie's stomach squirmed uneasily as he focused very hard on his feet when it went quiet. Jed tugged Bryar's hand away from his face but stayed in his embrace, and something in Eddie kind of wished he were brave enough to sit so close to Richie, out on a public beach where people could see.</p><p>"The bully, right?"</p><p>Eddie's mouth was dry, and he didn't look up.</p><p>"You told em about Connor, and I'm supposed to believe you forgot about me?" Richie joked weakly.</p><p>Eddie glanced up, meeting Richie's look. The dark-haired boy's expression wavered, mixed emotions warring there where Eddie could see. He scrounged up a pale smile.</p><p>"They did ask what the worst things about Derry were."</p><p>"This Connor kid sounds like a real jackass." Bryar added helpfully, and Richie's expression disappeared behind one of his masks again as he turned to him.</p><p>"Oh, you said it."</p><p>Jed was looking at Eddie thoughtfully, and Eddie felt all the playful atmosphere of the morning slipping away. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but it was making his stomach curdle, and that was an unpleasant thought when it was full of milk.</p><p>"We got bullies back home." Bryar said carefully, sharing a glance with Jed when the blonde seemed to tense up, "They can make a place feel like Hell."</p><p>"Yeah." Richie agreed, clearing his throat and offering a hand when he noticed Eddie was ready, "Bowers and his goons made Derry a real hellhole growing up."</p><p>"The Losers made it worth it." Eddie said softly as he found his feet, smiling when Richie's eyes lit up just a little bit.</p><p>"We had a group too, before." Jed said quietly, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.</p><p>When Bryar stood he slipped his hand into Jed's, and Eddie felt the world kind of freeze up as he realised what was happening. Jed looked him in the eyes as he spoke again.</p><p>"But you know how that turned out."</p><p>Eddie wanted to run, suddenly. He wanted to disappear. He wanted the sand to rise up and bury him so that he didn't have to find out how Richie was gonna take what was coming.</p><p>"Yeah," he agreed weakly, "I know."</p><p>Richie was looking at him, suddenly feeling incredibly close to Eddie's side, but he couldn't look at him. He felt chilled despite the blazing midday sun on his skin. His neck prickled with cold sweat. Jed traded another look with Bryar before he said it. Eddie thought he'd have to be blind not to see the weight of it between them, and he wished again that they had more than just Lyle to remind them that just because shitty towns said they were dirt, it didn't mean they were.</p><p>"Kind of hard to keep friends in a town like ours, when you're gay."</p><p>Eddie must have closed his eyes. He knew he must have, because when Richie spoke, so close it made Eddie jump, he had to open them.</p><p>"Sounds like Derry."</p><p>His voice was strangely calm, tight and controlled. It sounded so unlike him that Eddie <em>had</em> to look, to see the weird void of expression on his face. It made his chest constrict, and his hand itch to reach out for him. His eyes felt hot. He really fucking hoped he wasn't gonna cry from how scared and small and confused he felt inside.</p><p>"That's why it's so funny that we like the stupid camp." Bryar murmured, neither boy tearing his gaze from Eddie, "It's supposed to be a punishment, but it's like a holiday away from everythin'."</p><p>Eddie smiled weakly and gave a wobbly laugh. His fingers reached half-way to his pocket, just in case. His inhaler was there, he could feel it through the fabric.</p><p>"God that place was pretty bad though."</p><p>Bryar groaned loudly and nodded.</p><p>"You're telling <em>me</em>. That's like our fifth summer there. The sermons don't get any less annoying."</p><p>Eddie blew his breath out in a pained, understanding kind of noise. He'd felt awful enough every time they stepped foot in the big Church Hall. Doing it <em>every</em> summer must be even worse torture.</p><p>"Blah blah blah sin." he tacked weakly onto the end, giving Bryar a nervous, hopeful glance.</p><p>Jed chuckled, and it was like all the air suddenly returned to Eddie's lungs when Bryar's expression smoothed out too. Maybe they really <em>had</em> forgiven him for that night.</p><p>"Not all of it, meeting you was pretty sweet."</p><p>Eddie blushed, feeling kind of silly and shy.</p><p>"Likewise."</p><p>Richie was definitely staring at him, but Eddie just looked over at the edge of the shore. He needed to move, suddenly. He could feel it itching down all his limbs.</p><p>"We gonna hit the water, or what?"</p><p>"Race you!"</p><p>Richie's yell was loud and sudden before he'd dropped his trainers and started running, and Eddie shrieked good-naturedly about how unfair he was being as instinct drove him after the form of his long-legged best friend.</p><p>The mood from before returned, the four of them diving into the water until it was almost at their knees, yelling and shrieking and trying to stay dry while making sure the rest were soaked. The banter came easily again and Eddie relaxed into it; the sun hot on his skin as he splashed both his new friends and his best friend, absently thinking how incredible it was to being doing so.</p><p>By the time they called it quits they were all drenched, Jed sopping wet right up to his chest from losing his balance at one point. He'd caught hold of Bryar's leg and almost taken his boyfriend down with him, but Richie had saved him with a laugh and Jed had lunged up to his feet after him instead, Eddie close behind.</p><p>Richie threw one damp arm around Eddie as they walked back up the sand towards their abandoned shoes, and Eddie only complained half-heartedly. They ate ice-cream on the high stone wall by the pier and eventually walked back towards the bus station as the afternoon wore out. Eddie felt a flutter of something sweet in his chest when Bryar switched from hand-holding to mirroring his and Richie's stance, and he wasn't sure he imagined the way Richie's fingers tightened just the tiniest bit on his shoulders right then.</p><p>"You promise you'll bring the others, next time?" Jed pleaded as he dragged Eddie into a tight hug at the station.</p><p>Eddie hugged him back hard and nodded.</p><p>"Promise."</p><p>Jed let him go with a pleased hum, and Bryar moved in to give Eddie a one-armed embrace.</p><p>"See ya, Eddie. Stay safe, kay?"</p><p>Eddie gave an awkward bark of laughter, and met his eye when he pulled away.</p><p>"You too."</p><p>Jed offered a hand into the middle of their little circle.</p><p>"It was good to meet you, Richie."</p><p>Eddie couldn't help but grin when Richie slid his hand into Jed's and shook it.</p><p>"Likewise." he said, and Jed's answering grin was bright and relieved and Eddie felt like maybe everything would be okay.</p><p>Richie shook Bryar's hand too, and Eddie said another goodbye before they were being herded on the bus by a tired-looking attendant. Eddie was almost sad to go, even though he was worn out and looking forward to getting back to their familiar, if awful, little town.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie was quiet on the ride home, resting his head against the wall and staring out the window thoughtfully. Eddie rested his head on the back of his seat and closed his eyes in the strange tense quiet. To his surprise, he ended up letting the rumble of the bus lull him into an absent sort of doze.</p><p>When Richie shook him awake they were back in Derry, and he tried to fight the heat that tinged his face as he realised he'd fallen asleep on Richie's shoulder. He fiddled silently with the awkwardness as they left the bus and walked along the main street through Derry, darting glances at the taller boy all the while. If Richie noticed, while his brow was slightly furrowed and his eyes faraway, he didn't show it.</p><p>They were halfway home before the first word was spoken. It had been long enough that Eddie jumped at the sound.</p><p>"Hey Eds?"</p><p>The quiet murmur sounded absent, like Richie wasn't fully out of his own head yet. Maybe it was stupid, but Eddie kind of liked how soft and… <em>real</em> it sounded.</p><p>"Mh?"</p><p>"Why didn't…" he paused, but when Eddie looked up he looked away.</p><p>The silence fell between them again and although Eddie waited what felt like an age, Richie stayed quiet. He was starting to feel apprehensive.</p><p>"Rich?"</p><p>The taller boy gave a shrug.</p><p>"You didn't tell us."</p><p>The words were careful and slow, like he was picking them carefully. Eddie's stomach flipped over.</p><p>"That they're… you know."</p><p>Definite anxiety creeping up his windpipe in anticipation. He swallowed. Well, shit. This was it.</p><p>"That they're gay?" he breathed, terrified of the word, but filled with the sense that it needed to be said.</p><p>Richie tensed. His eyes flicked off to one side.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Eddie looked down at his feet, trying to ignore the fear trickling into his gut. Just because Richie had relaxed and not made a fuss at the beach didn't necessarily mean he thought Jed and Bryar were okay. Richie was real good at playing the part. Eddie felt the icy anxiety scratching down at his spine that Richie might think… He was too scared to think it.</p><p>"It wasn't really my place to say. And I promised I wouldn't tell anybody."</p><p>The air between them was ill-fitting and fragile, like the wrong word might shatter it. Eddie stayed quiet and waited for Richie to talk, if he was going to. He wished they had more time, or that he didn't feel like something was going to go wrong any minute. Nausea toyed with his insides.</p><p>"It doesn't bother you?" Richie eventually whispered.</p><p>Eddie wanted to be smart about it. He wanted to laugh, or say something sarcastic like <em>Yeah, it bothers me so much I took you all the way to Bangor to meet them, doofus</em>. He very nearly did. But Richie's voice sounded weird and small and made the words catch in Eddie's throat. The air was heavy with seriousness. Did it bother Richie? Did Richie think it <em>should</em> bother Eddie? His throat was dry.</p><p>"No." he answered honestly.</p><p>Richie didn't say anything for a long time, their feet dragging as they tried to stretch their journey out longer. Eddie's mom was going to be angry either way, he'd been gone all day and she probably suspected he'd lied about where he was going. But if she was going to be angry regardless, then the extra minutes with Richie were more than worth it.</p><p>"Does it… bother you?" he eventually asked, wincing at the volume of his own whisper in the quiet between them.</p><p>Richie wasn't looking at him but Eddie inched closer as they walked, narrowing the distance between them in the only way he could think to comfort the strange uneasiness rolling from Richie.</p><p>"It doesn't change what you think of them?"</p><p>Eddie looked up but Richie was avoiding his eye, so he just shrugged and offered up another honest answer.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Richie gave a disbelieving scoff. Eddie frowned, stomach flooding with both indignation and worry, and couldn't stop his hands from fidgeting.</p><p>"Okay it did, at first. I… I actually found out by accident. So it was kind of a shock. But it… I dunno. Once I took a minute and thought about it, it wasn't… it isn't really. I don't know."</p><p>He deflated, hunching his shoulders around himself like maybe it would somehow stop the words from reaching Richie's ears.</p><p>"They were still the same people, after. Once I promised not to tell anyone. I just… I guess I just know one of their biggest secrets, now."</p><p>That time, the silence went on for a real long time. Eddie started panicking that he'd actually get all the way home before Richie spoke, and he couldn't have that. This needed to be said, and it needed- he needed… He needed Richie to be okay with this. Because if he couldn't be okay with Jed and Bryar then he wouldn't be okay with- he- Eddie swallowed back tears and cleared his throat. But it was Richie who spoke when Eddie couldn't find the right words.</p><p>"They only just met me, and they told me too."</p><p>Eddie blinked, realising that Richie was right. They'd met him only hours before telling him. He forgot all about his sudden panic as a frown fell over his face. That was… curious.</p><p>"Huh." was all he could muster.</p><p>Richie's breath sounded almost like it was shaky when he huffed a weak laugh.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Eddie frowned, his brain working. After a moment, Richie gave a soft, but more substantial, chuckle. It sounded a little more like the Richie Eddie expected.</p><p>"Guess they just heard how great I was, and decided to trust me."</p><p>Eddie was surprised by the sound of his own giggle.</p><p>"Maybe." he admitted.</p><p>Richie brushed their shoulders together and finally looked down at him, and Eddie gave him a small smile in return.</p><p>"Does it bother you that… that they're my friends, and that they're gay?" he asked again before the good feeling could abandon him, watching Richie closely while his heart raced in his chest.</p><p>Richie looked back at him after a moment, before his lips lifted on one side.</p><p>"Nah. I think it's pretty great you know it and still like them."</p><p>It was such a raw, genuine kind of answer that Eddie didn't really know what to say. He and Richie had had their moments, over the years. For all his joking and stupid comments, Richie could be really observant of shit that Eddie might be struggling with. Sure, they didn't really talk about feelings. They didn't need to. Richie always seemed to know, anyway. But this was different, this was something that felt like it needed to be said. It felt important that it be said.</p><p>"I'm glad you're okay with it." he admitted, looking away again with a shrug when he couldn't find any more words.</p><p>"Did you think I wouldn't be?"</p><p>It could easily have been an accusation, but it wasn't. Richie sounded curious, and Eddie wasn't really sure he wanted to look at why. He shrugged again, folding his arms around himself defensively.</p><p>"I don't know. I was… a little worried, maybe?"</p><p>"We're Losers, remember?" Richie said softly, finally drawing Eddie close with an arm on his shoulders, "We've all got something Derry thinks is wrong with us."</p><p>Eddie bit his lip and looked up. Richie's expression was open and all his usual sharp edges and humour were missing. He was being real with Eddie, as the evening was really drawing in, and Eddie felt his whole body squeeze with how much he loved the ridiculous boy he'd grown up with.</p><p>"Fuck Derry." he answered, and Richie smiled.</p><p>"You said it, Eds."</p><p>They fell into comfortable quiet as they took the next corner, and Eddie sighed as his house came into view. Richie hummed. In unspoken agreement, their feet slowed further. Eddie hated that he'd be saying goodbye in only minutes. The day had raced ahead of him, disappearing between his fingers quicker than he could savour it.</p><p>True, he'd see the Losers again in a matter of hours. He didn't care how pissed his mom was, he'd be ducking out of that house again as soon as morning came. He knew logically that it was stupid to feel like it was gonna be forever before he saw Richie again. He'd survived four weeks, he could survive a few hours. And he'd had a very high concentration of Richie in his days these last two weeks, like they were making up for lost time.</p><p>That still didn't stop his heart from falling when they reached the sidewalk outside. He turned to Richie as the arm fell from his shoulders. His best friend was pale in the waning light of the post-sunset sky, only his faint freckles scattered across his face and the rosy pink of sun exposure giving him any colour. Eddie bit down the old urge to lecture him about skin cancer and the importance of sunblock. Richie looked over at the Kaspbrak house, and something slid into his eyes. Eddie waited, wondering if Richie would say whatever he was thinking.</p><p>For some reason, his heart was beating pretty fast in his chest. It was stupid, they'd done this a million times before. But it was there, making his breath kind of unsteady like this time was different somehow. Richie eventually met his eye. His lips quirked, and Eddie returned the smile.</p><p>"I'm glad you made friends." he said strangely, looking askance as the pink in his cheeks deepened a little bit, "I… the Losers were worried you'd be stuck on your own the whole time."</p><p>Eddie's smile widened. He heard what Richie had chosen not to say. He heard it, and he loved him for it.</p><p>"I'm glad you like them. I think they're pretty great."</p><p>Richie chuckled, and that time he sounded more like the Richie Eddie knew best. It was a familiar, cheeky sound. Eddie loved it.</p><p>"Yeah, they're cool. Bryar kinda reminds me of-"</p><p>"Stan?"</p><p>Richie looked up again and laughed.</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>Eddie joined him.</p><p>"I <em>know</em>! He's got that same fucking smirk, dude."</p><p>"Yupp." Richie nodded, "I saw it."</p><p>His gaze darted over Eddie's shoulder and his smile died a little. Eddie felt his own mood fall, practically <em>feeling</em> the glare being shot at the back of his head.</p><p>"I better go." he sighed.</p><p>Richie's mouth twisted a little before the mask slid back over his face.</p><p>"Better not keep your mom waiting. I'll try to keep her quiet tonight when-"</p><p>"Oh my god." Eddie laughed, shoving him in the chest and watching him grin, "You fucking <em>suck</em>, dude."</p><p>Richie only waggled his eyebrows again. Eddie looked at him for a couple seconds before shaking his head. He'd better not push his luck any further. She could still be pretty fucking awful.</p><p>"Thanks for coming with me." he said as he turned away, "See you tomorrow?"</p><p>When Richie nodded his smile was kind of off, but not in a way Eddie decided was bad.</p><p>"Pick you up."</p><p>That meant pop-tarts, if the last two weeks were anything to go by. It also meant he probably shouldn't have breakfast since they were planning on getting ice-cream early too. He wondered if Richie knew that was why he'd want to know. The thought made him smile. His mom would scream if she knew how much sugar he was eating lately. Funny how little it seemed to matter to Eddie, now that he had fish bigger than her to fry once more.</p><p>"Sounds good."</p><p>Eddie had grinned his goodbye and crossed his lawn and was reaching for the door handle when it happened.</p><p>"Love you."</p><p>Eddie froze, his heart stopping as his eyes found Richie. He opened his mouth, his mind blank as he saw the weird look on his friend's face. Come on Eddie, he chided himself. Stop panicking. This is stupid, you love all the Losers, why are you stalling? Why's it so scary to say? Don't make it weird!</p><p>"Love you too, Rich." he managed to choke out before scurrying inside on shaky legs, like a coward.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So what were they like?" Bev asked, leaning forward as she dropped the end of her cigarette and ground it under her boot.</p><p>Richie shrugged, mimicking the gesture. Eddie hated when he smoked, so he usually made sure to avoid it on days when Eddie would be around him so that he didn't have to smell it, but sometimes he just felt like maybe he needed it. This morning was one of those times for sure.</p><p>He'd spent what felt like the whole night lying awake thinking. Most specifically he'd replayed the moment where Eddie said he loved him, over and over and over. He knew, realistically, that Eddie meant it the same way Bev did. And he'd tried to convince himself that the startled look in Eddie's eyes had just been because Richie had caught him off guard. They didn't often say the words out loud, even the others didn't, much. But he couldn't really kill the worry that he'd blown his cover, and that maybe now Eddie knew that he. Well. It was <em>probably</em> just Richie's own panic, because of what they'd been talking about right before, his brain making connections that weren't necessarily there.</p><p>And <em>that</em> was a whole other deal, wasn't it? Eddie's new friends being… being like Richie himself was. It was kind of crazy and scary, but at the same time, it was kind of like getting a trial run. Eddie said he didn't care that the boys were like that, and Richie wanted so badly to believe him. Because he'd sounded like he meant it, and he'd seemed really happy in Bangor. It struck home how insulated they really were, in Derry, that it was so weird to see Eddie comfortable around people who weren't their five friends. He really seemed to like them.</p><p>But he was nervous about seeing his best friend again, all the same. In case maybe Eddie had, by some Eddie-like miracle, worked him out. Stranger things had happened. Hell, this was Derry, remember?</p><p>"They're okay."</p><p>He kept grinding the ball of his foot into the dirt for longer than necessary, because he could feel Bev watching him and he wasn't ready. This was so hard, so frightening to look at and talk about like it was <em>nothing</em>, like she wasn't acting when she shrugged it off as to be expected. He appreciated it, he did. But it was still threatening to consume him whole and kill him, when he looked at it too closely. Being what he was. Feeling what he did.</p><p>"Only okay?"</p><p>Her voice was carefully neutral, but she was worried already. He scrounged up a half-smile and braved a glance. One artful eyebrow raised, she was watching him quizzically, and he felt his face heating as he thought of the two boys and what he knew about them. He shrugged and forced a chuckle out.</p><p>"Yeah. They're no <em>Losers Club</em>, but…"</p><p>Her smile was fond exasperation as she reached out to smack his shoulder with little force.</p><p>"Don't <em>scare</em> me like that."</p><p>He laughed for real then, at her playful scowl and her pout.</p><p>"This is Eds we're talking about. He's the fussiest person I ever met."</p><p>Beverly hummed and rolled her eyes. He watched her slotting her lighter back into the cigarette packet and pocket it, her denim dungarees fraying just above her knees where she sat on the crate she favoured. There was an ageing scab on the inside of one knee from where he'd scraped it, pushing her over in a race a few days ago. She laughed at him when he cleaned it for her, a joke about how Eddie must have taught him that trick of how to peel the bandaids just right so they stuck better.</p><p>He missed Eddie. Jeez, he was hopeless. It'd been what? Twelve hours? Compared to a month, that should feel like nothing.</p><p>"Earth to Tozier."</p><p>Bev was waving her hand in his face when he blinked at her. Her smirk was taunting and her eyes held that light like she could see in his head, so although he scowled his cheeks warmed up enough for him to notice.</p><p>"Distracted by something?" she asked innocently, her eyes wide and lashes batting, but he knew her game.</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>Her laugh was gleeful and she rocked back in her seat, grinning at him widely when the sound died down as quickly as it had started.</p><p>"God, you're so obvious. I don't know why it wasn't so <em>clear</em> before."</p><p>He folded his arms over his chest as his face felt like it was burning for real, and by the way her expression grew further delighted, it was showing.</p><p>"Stan's right. It's been <em>right</em> there the whole time."</p><p>Richie knew she was teasing, and part of him was just embarrassed because he <em>knew</em> that she wasn't being mean about it, this was Bev for fuck's sake. But the shaky fear in his stomach wouldn't shift, and he found he couldn't sit there anymore, rising to his feet. Her smile dropped a little, but he couldn't help it. He turned up towards the open hatch just for something to look at that wasn't the knowing in her eyes, feeling exposed.</p><p>"Rich…"</p><p>"Sun is high in the sky already, Miss Marsh, I say I say."</p><p>It came out a little lame, but she snickered anyway. When he turned to wink at her, the Voice filled out and swelled and made him feel better.</p><p>"Darlin' ain'tchu a <em>peach</em> in that sunshine, I say I say I do <em>declare</em>!"</p><p>Her laughter was painted with a groan, and she dropped back in a slump against the soil wall behind her.</p><p>"What even <em>was</em> that?"</p><p>Richie gasped dramatically, whirling with a hand pressing into his heart and exaggerating the way his mouth dropped open.</p><p>"You <em>wound</em> me, Miss Scarlett! Here I am but humbly singing the praises of your <em>beauty</em> and you've sliced my heart, I say!"</p><p>Bev kicked out at his leg and made him wobble, meeting his elaborate howling and playful slapping with her own war cry, but as she pounced to chase him up the ladder the sky was blocked by shadow.</p><p>Stan's eyes dragged between them both when he entered, looking preemptively weary and amused. Without even a word, Richie pointed right at Bev, who was pointing right at him. Stan raised an eyebrow. Richie batted his eyes, but their accuser looked unimpressed.</p><p>"Hey, she started it! She did!"</p><p>"Uh huh?"</p><p>"Did not, Rich."</p><p>Richie gave an indignant yelp when Stanley nodded to Bev as though he knew that.</p><p>"She did! It was downright bullying, I tell you! Torture of the highest degree!"</p><p>Stan ducked to miss his theatrically swung hand while Bev only snorted.</p><p>"Bullying over what?"</p><p>Richie's heart fell over the next beat in surprise, unprepared for the sound of Eddie's voice. And when Richie lifted his face to peer above Stanley's gold waves, there he was. Kaspbrak, in the flesh, chocolate eyes bemused, lip twisting already in a faint curl of amusement. <em>Man</em> Richie had it bad. He was totally unprepared for the way his throat dried up, stomach doing loop-de-loops.</p><p>"Uh, she-"</p><p>He watched Eddie climb down, feeling the combined amusement of Bev and Stan, their eyes flickering over to him, secret dancing in their glee. Fuckers, the pair of them. He glared, but their smirks only widened.</p><p>"Articulate." was what Eddie hummed when his sneakers hit the floor of the Clubhouse, his eyebrows rising when he met Richie's gaze again.</p><p>Richie snapped himself out of it, dropping one shoulder and lidding his eyes.</p><p>"Your mom just wore me out last night, give a guy a break."</p><p>And there, dear lord there it was. Eddie's brow furrowed in a deep valley, nose scrunching up disgust, mouth lopsided as it opened to hiss out the expected response that Richie didn't quite catch. The sunlight was lighting the crown of his head with red threads and his eyelashes were so <em>dark</em> where his eyes crinkled up, and Richie was a <em>goner</em>. Eddie Kaspbrak was just too fucking gorgeous for his brain to function.</p><p>Stan was humming an agreement to whatever return Eddie had thrown at him, but Richie did his best to play it cool like his heart wasn't pattering upside down while he shrugged.</p><p>"Beach must have worn <em>you</em> out," his mouth reeled off, unthinking as always, "'cause she was <em>loud</em>, if you know what I-"</p><p>Eddie's shove caught him square in the chest and made him stumble, but Richie was too fast, shoving him back and sliding out of reach, turning in the inevitable direction of their brief game of chase.</p><p>Eddie's yelp was half-laugh half fake annoyance, and Richie grinned up at him from the hammock as it swayed almost dangerously from his inelegant entry. Eddie stormed over, halting just a second as something flashed through his eyes. But it was gone too fast for Richie to know for sure he'd even seen it, and the boy was crossing his arms and glaring, and doing a <em>very</em> good job of hiding the smile that lurked on his mouth.</p><p>"Move." he barked, and Richie laughed loudly even while he pulled his legs to one side to give the illusion of space.</p><p>They were absolutely too tall for this thing, but Richie would be damned before he gave it up. He could feel it cracking the playful mask on his face because Eddie shot him a funny look, pausing half-way into the hammock. And then he cocked his head to one side in a tiny gesture and Richie remembered very suddenly what he and Bev had been doing before they arrived. Whoops. Richie tried his best to look innocent as he watched those clever eyes narrow. Eddie gave a sharp sigh.</p><p>"You know that smoking is bad for you, right? You're gonna end up with lung cancer." he grumbled.</p><p>Eddie also didn't look convinced by his surprised act, but he still clambered into the hammock anyway, so Richie was happy. He snatched two comics from the shelf, half-tossing one to the shorter boy. Eddie didn't even look at it, leaning close to take the one Richie had kept for himself, like he so often did. To make a point, or something. Richie didn't care at all, the brush of Eddie's fingers against his was worth it every time, even if it meant reading the same comic three days in a row or whatever.</p><p>"Married couple." Stan sighed from his seat on the swing, his gaze weary when they both turned to look at him.</p><p>Oh, and that was worse than the usual flush of embarrassment and shame that it usually triggered, because <em>this</em> time the knowing in Stan's eyes couldn't be ignored. Because <em>this</em> time, Richie knew Stan knew for real, and Stan knew he knew he knew.</p><p>"Puh<em>lease</em>, Staniel." his mouth saved him, "I can't marry my step-son!"</p><p>Eddie knocked the wind clean out of him with the kick of one socked foot into his ribs, but after, when they'd settled and Bev had put the radio on down low while they waited for the others, Eddie's toes wriggled and he shifted, tucking right against the sore spot. Eddie was reading, eyes trained on the page, but Richie couldn't swallow the whole smile when he looked at him, the soft touch of Eddie's foot seemingly there by accident, and his chest swelled with something sweet to see the faint lift of Eddie's lips while he did.</p><p>~.~</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>